The child is afraid to say bad words. What to do if a child says bad words? New foreign swear language

As we have said more than once, in the first years of his life a child absorbs information like a sponge, a baby like a blank sheet of paper, everything he sees and hears is reflected on him.

But in addition to the fact that the child not only receives information, he also remembers it. And adults are unable to interfere with this process.

As some psychologists say, “there is no point in preventive conversations.” But there is something that is within your power, dear mothers and fathers. And this, of course, is not to use “bad” words in front of a child. Then you will at least have confidence that the baby did not learn “bad” words in the family.

But every day the baby hears the speech of children, both the same age and older ones, watches TV, etc.

Let's figure out why the child does this. When a baby hears something new, unusual, unknown, he has a desire to show mom and dad what he has learned.

It happens that a child proudly copies indecent phrases and expressions of a significant adult. Since imitation is an integral feature of the early age period in a child’s life.

And it happens that the baby just wants to see your reaction, to understand whether it is good or terrible.

Imagine you will scold your child for using a “bad” word, you will become irritated and dissatisfied. The baby will quickly understand that by causing your anger, he can attract attention, no matter what.

Mom is talking to my aunt as a doctor, but she’s not paying attention to me, now I’ll make her angry, and she’ll finally turn her attention to me.

How to behave correctly?

When you hear “bad” words, quietly and not emotionally, tell your child that you can’t say that. Tell your child that instead of this word, you should say this.

You have to understand that sometimes a baby says “bad” words simply because he doesn’t know how to speak differently. Teach him! You shouldn’t speak long moralizing lectures, people won’t hear you or understand you, be clear and concise.

“Bad” words in a public place.

It happens that a child expresses himself with “bad” words in a public place, in front of witnesses. You should immediately apologize on behalf of the child, and try to change the topic of conversation.

If you start to publicly reprimand your child, punish or get angry, you can provoke an outburst of aggression in the child. You can also wait for a “stream of bad words” that the baby heard somewhere.

Don't threaten. You shouldn’t threaten your child that if he ever says this “bad” word, then...

Negativity causes negativity, and the baby, subject to his impulsive characteristics, will immediately give you this “bad” word in order to get even with you. You will have two options: either punish for disobedience, or abandon your threats.

Summary:

What to do if a child says “bad” words?

  • Explain to your child that you can’t say that.
  • Give an alternative word that reflects his condition. Replace the “bad” word with a “good” one.
  • You shouldn't scold your child.
  • Find another outlet for energy and aggression. For example, active games.
  • Redirect the child's attention.
  • Avoid threats and punishments.
  • Offer a brief apology if your child's “bad” words were heard by other people.

All parents sooner or later face a problem when their child begins to say swear words. This is due to the fact that the child receives knowledge, but it does not always have a positive basis. While mastering speech, the child does not understand which words can be pronounced and which cannot. Young children are sensitive to everything that happens around them, so they imitate adults or their peers.

Unfortunately, some children receive unnecessary information from their parents, who are touched by how the child misrepresents “bad” words. Sometimes an accidentally spoken word is enough for the child to repeat it.

How to react if a child uses “bad” words?

1. If a child utters a “bad” word, do not panic, try to react calmly so as not to attract the child’s attention to the swear words.

2. However, you should not react in any way to swear words, since it is your reaction that the child wants to see. You need to explain to him that the word he said is bad, otherwise, if you don’t pay any attention at all, the child will repeat this word until you react.

3. Try to explain to your child that good children do not use “bad” words. Then you should switch the child’s attention to something more exciting and interesting.

4. Try to talk with the child and find out where he heard the “bad” words. If you are able to establish emotional contact, then next time the child will turn to you for advice, since your opinion will be important to him. If a child heard a swear word from someone around him or from the TV, such situations can be controlled in the future.

5. If a child uses a bad word in front of strangers, do not immediately scold him in front of everyone. You need to apologize for the child and change the subject, and at home have a serious talk with him. In this way, he tries to attract both your attention and the attention of others.

6. If the points above did not help, then you can go to the following measures. For every swear word, deprive your child of his favorite activity, replacing it with his unloved one. For example, instead of watching cartoons, let him wash the dishes, and instead of walking down the street, let him do his homework. Encourage your child for the absence of “bad” words.

7. You can use the intimidation method. It is more suitable for impressionable children. Tell your child that using “bad” words makes him stupid and no one will play with him. And the use of “good” words, on the contrary, makes him better, more beautiful and smarter.

Child - unique personality with needs and whims. You should find out the reason why the child began to use swear words. Perhaps the child lacks your attention, affection and care. You need to observe the child and try to find a way to eliminate this problem.

13.12.2017

Sooner or later, all parents face a problem when their child begins to use swear words. This is due to the fact that the child receives knowledge, but it does not always have a positive basis. Let's look at the reasons why a child uses swear words in his speech.

Causes:

  • Interest, experiment. The problem of swear words begins at the age of 3-4 years. at this age, the child often and willingly uses words, the meaning of which he may not understand, but he likes the sound or intonation of what is spoken.
  • To attract attention
  • Protest
  • Instrument of aggression
  • Relieving tension

How to react if a child uses “bad words”?

  • Don't panic, try to react calmly so as not to attract the child's attention to swear words.
  • It is imperative to explain to the child that the word he uttered is bad.
  • Try to explain to your child that good children do not use “bad” words. Then you should switch the child’s attention to something more exciting and interesting.
  • Try to talk to your child and find out where he heard the “bad” words. If you are able to establish emotional contact, then next time the child will turn to you for advice, since your opinion will be important to him. If a child heard a swear word from someone around him or from the TV, such situations can be controlled in the future.
  • If a child uses a bad word in front of strangers, do not immediately scold him in front of everyone. You need to apologize for the child and change the subject, and at home have a serious talk with him. In this way, he tries to attract both your attention and the attention of others.
  • If the points above did not help, then you can take the following measures. For every swear word, deprive your child of his favorite activity, replacing it with his unloved one. For example, instead of watching cartoons, let him wash the dishes, and instead of walking down the street, let him sit down and study. Encourage your child for the absence of “bad” words.

7 tips on what to do if your child says “bad words”

All parents sooner or later face a problem when their child begins to say swear words. This is due to the fact that the child receives knowledge, but it does not always have a positive basis. While mastering speech, the child does not understand which words can be pronounced and which cannot. Young children are sensitive to everything that happens around them, so they imitate adults or their peers.

Unfortunately, some children receive unnecessary information from their parents, who are touched by how the child misrepresents “bad” words. Sometimes an accidentally spoken word is enough for the child to repeat it.

How to react if a child uses “bad” words?

1. If a child utters a “bad” word, do not panic, try to react calmly so as not to attract the child’s attention to the swear words.

2. However, you should not react in any way to swear words, since it is your reaction that the child wants to see. You need to explain to him that the word he said is bad, otherwise, if you don’t pay any attention at all, the child will repeat this word until you react.

3. Try to explain to your child that good children do not use “bad” words. Then you should switch the child’s attention to something more exciting and interesting.

4. Try to talk with the child and find out where he heard the “bad” words. If you are able to establish emotional contact, then next time the child will turn to you for advice, since your opinion will be important to him. If a child heard a swear word from someone around him or from the TV, such situations can be controlled in the future.

5. If a child uses a bad word in front of strangers, do not immediately scold him in front of everyone. You need to apologize for the child and change the subject, and at home have a serious talk with him. In this way, he tries to attract both your attention and the attention of others.

6. If the points above did not help, then you can take the following measures. For every swear word, deprive your child of his favorite activity, replacing it with his unloved one. For example, instead of watching cartoons, let him wash the dishes, and instead of walking down the street, let him do his homework. Encourage your child for the absence of “bad” words.

7. You can use the intimidation method. It is more suitable for impressionable children. Tell your child that using “bad” words makes him stupid and no one will play with him. And the use of “good” words, on the contrary, makes him better, more beautiful and smarter.

A child is a unique individual with needs and whims. You should find out the reason why the child began to use swear words. Perhaps the child lacks your attention, affection and care. You need to observe the child and try to find a way to eliminate this problem.

“Children say bad words” Asya Kravchenko, psychologist

"The child is slandering. What should I do?" Zalesskaya Tatyana, psychologist

“Raise a grateful child” Nadezhda Vasina

Children say bad words
Sooner or later, all families face similar problems. Our grandmothers dealt with swear words decisively and simply - they washed their mouths with soap, and the distressed baby forever remembered the disgusting taste of the bad word. However, according to psychologists, this not very humane method does not always achieve the goal, but it certainly discourages the child from sharing with his family by what he heard. How can you ensure that your child does not use swear words?
There is no universal cure for such a scourge. But we will greatly alleviate the problem if we understand what the child wants to say by this: he is angry at the whole world, he is teasing us, trying to piss us off, or simply repeating what he heard without understanding the meaning.
Experiments
The problem of swear words begins at the age of 3-4 years. At this age, the child often and willingly uses words, the meaning of which he may not understand, but he likes the sound or intonation of what is spoken. Agree, many swear words are very sonorous, carry an emotional charge, that is, they are pronounced “with feeling,” and therefore are quite easy to remember.
First of all, you should not punish a child for bad words - really, why should a child be punished for being interested in what he heard?
Some psychologists advise not to react at all to children's curses - to ignore them. They say, devoid of meaning and your emotions, these words will be forgotten and disappear from the child’s speech repertoire on their own. However, this depends on the situation. It happens that the baby is waiting for a reaction, and then your silence can give very funny results.
So, six-year-old Oleg, coming from the garden, went into the kitchen, looked at his mother and father and said loudly: “P...a.” The parents shuddered, but, remembering the advice of psychologists, without showing it, they continued to go about their business. The boy waited a minute or two, then, apparently deciding that he had not been heard, repeated it louder. Mom hurriedly left the kitchen, and dad stubbornly continued to pretend that nothing special was happening. Then the son went straight to his dad and, catching his gaze, loudly and clearly repeated the curse for the third time. And then the pedagogically savvy dad could not stand it and slapped the boy on the back of the head.
Now imagine what is going on in your son’s head. From the very beginning, it seems to the child that the parents are playing some kind of incomprehensible game, and when the boy tries to clarify the rules, he gets a slap on the head.
So what to do?
Behave naturally: naturally, if a child swears in your presence, without waiting for events to develop, kindly but firmly say that you don’t want to hear any more of this. It is not at all necessary to explain to him the meaning of this or that swear word. If the child insists, limit yourself to calmly saying:
- This is a very rude word, and I don’t even want to talk about it.
Is this a protest?
However, verbal experiments are not always innocent - children often feel that these words are indecent. Many preschool children of four to six years old spend their time with enthusiasm and laughter, exchanging swear words. Most often they do this when they are alone, which once again proves that they are well aware of the ban on swearing. And there is a simple explanation for this.
For a child of a certain age, the “potty” topic continues to be very relevant: mother and doctors discuss the contents of his potty with great interest, and at times wet pants still cause trouble. And suddenly, it turns out, you can’t talk about this generally important topic, that is, you can talk, but you can’t use words. It’s not logical, you’ll agree. As a protest to the conventions of the adult world, various ones appear: “You’re a poop,” and so on.
In addition, children get great pleasure from breaking taboos.
A child’s protest against conventions is precisely the case when the deprivation of “emotional intensity” nullifies the entire interest of the enterprise.
So, if a swearing child finds himself in the company of children who do not enjoy it at all, then he, too, stops swearing, so older children can help us in the difficult task of dealing with the bad words of children.
If you, as an adult, clearly explain the situation to them and ask for help, they will be happy to demonstrate complete indifference at the right moment and tell the child:
- I'm not interested.
If such outrages occurred in your presence, and if there is no way to pretend that you do not notice this, calmly ask the child to go to another room, because you do not want to hear it. Preschoolers, when given free rein, for some time actually invent and use bad words incessantly and aggressively. But gradually this disappears on its own.

The most important thing is that your child develops the idea that these words are unacceptable in polite society.

Instrument of aggression
Often, even without knowing the true meaning of a word, a child uses it for its intended purpose when he is very angry. An outside adult has a persistent feeling of trouble, as if in front of him is a pedagogically neglected child.
It is fear that makes us explode with indignation and reveals how shocked we are. However, do not rush to get scared and scream - our fears very often do not correspond to reality. In addition, such an adult reaction most often does not bring the desired results: it will only affect shy children.
Any emotional outburst of an adult often achieves the opposite effect - children become delighted with the storm caused and begin to repeat what caused it.
Sometimes our first reaction is just the opposite. The incongruity is so great and this whole scene with the swearing baby seems so ridiculous that we involuntarily burst out laughing. This (by the way, quite natural) reaction is also, unfortunately, unacceptable. Our laughter disorients the child, and he may think that we are delighted with his antics.
Don’t find out where he heard it and who said it - it’s absolutely not important. No matter how hard we try, we still cannot protect our child from sources of unwanted knowledge. Indeed, today these sources are so diverse that they cannot be taken into account by us.

Let's blow off some steam
And finally, the last “no”: under no circumstances should you react to scolding in the same way as to a demand. For example, if your child’s scooter fell and the child cursed in anger, wait until you rush to help him and pick up the scooter. In the mouth of a little person, swearing is often simply an inability to express one’s feelings in another way. Therefore, the task of parents is to calmly, without unnecessary emotions, express their attitude to what they heard and try to teach the child to express their anger and protest in other, much more acceptable ways.
Say for example:
“I understand perfectly well that you are very angry, but what you say is unacceptable for a decent person.”
And in your spare time, practice coming up with acceptable curse words:
-I'm damn angry.
- I am categorically against it.
- I don’t like all this at all.

Some mothers successfully turn this process into a game: they set rules (for example, you can’t repeat yourself) and take turns, competing in originality, expressing their disagreement. Such simple training will help the child to “blow off steam” in the future.
In any case, if you clearly express your attitude towards unwanted words, if your family communicates using normative vocabulary, swear words will be a temporary phenomenon and will certainly pass.

The child is slandering. What to do?
It happens that our dear boys and girls suddenly begin to use swear words. And we are scratching our heads: where did they get it from?! It's unlikely, of course. little man I came up with them myself. Swearing and swearing do not belong to children's culture, like games, scary stories, jokes, and do not pass from generation to generation. So, the source of such words, of course, is those around us.
The easiest way, of course, is to blame it on the kindergarten or comrades in the yard. But the easiest thing is not always the right one.

When swear words appear in your child’s vocabulary, first of all, pay attention to how they speak in your family. We often do not notice what expressions we use, or do not attach meaning to what is said. Just remember what you say when, for example, you get burned or hit your foot on a chair, what words your husband reacts to the fall in the ruble exchange rate, political reshuffles. At this time, by the way, your innocent offspring is playing somewhere nearby.
But the baby imitates adults in everything, and in turns of speech too. Therefore, it would be dishonest to demand from him behavior that differs from that accepted in the family. No amount of excuses that dad and grandpa can swear, but his son can’t, since he is still small, will not help wean a child from slander because, by observing adults, the child learns the pattern of behavior characteristic of his gender.

Therefore, in order for a child not to use obscene expressions in a conversation related to the topic of childbirth, it is necessary to tell him where children come from. In a special way adapted to the baby’s age, using only words he understands. It is very important to emphasize the love between mom and dad and show respect for the process of procreation in the story. Using children's literature on human anatomy, it won't be that difficult to tell where babies come from. A child who knows the story of the birth of children, set out in understandable words, simply will not need dubious expressions either to retell it or to think about it.

There are several other reasons why children prefer to swear. Remember what is accompanied by the use of profanity by adults: expressive gestures, shock or even the approval of others, their excitement. A certain tension immediately arises around the person swearing, attention is paid to him, he is reproached or reassured. Children who lack the attention of their parents may use slander in order to be noticed and to be emotionally connected to them. Even if they are negative, they are still emotions, and not indifference towards them.
Children also notice that behind rude words there is a position of strength (though they do not understand that this strength is feigned), determination and superiority. They see that some adults are afraid of someone who swears, and if a child is unsure of himself, of his abilities, if the immediate environment does not take him into account, then foul language serves the purpose of frightening and forcing himself to be respected.
In this situation, it is necessary to show the child that this method of attracting attention to him does not work on you, that you do not consider swearing a manifestation of power. And it’s better to do this by remaining, no matter how hard it is, calm in response to childish bravado.

Closer to school age, a child may begin to use swear words in interactions with others, in conflict situations, when the physical superiority of the enemy is clearly expressed, when he is trying to establish his dominance in the microsociety. To achieve these goals, some children use aggressiveness, one of the manifestations of which is, in this case, foul language. It is used semi-consciously, but refers to a specific person, an object against whom aggression is directed, which is fundamentally different from the harmless unconscious repetition of the same words by younger children.
In this situation, what should cause concern is not the utterance of offensive words as such, but the very aggressiveness of the little person. To understand the reasons for this child’s behavior, which are rooted in family relationships, and correct it, you need an experienced psychotherapist.

If your baby is slandering, then:
try not to give of great importance this phenomenon. Do not pay increased emotional attention to the child because of it;
do not scold, do not punish, do not behave aggressively towards the child who used a swear word;
try to make sure that your son or daughter is as frank as possible with you, do not make an intimate topic a secret, shrouded in darkness;
Discourage the child with your calmness; when he begins to say swear words, treat this incident gently. An affectionate, gentle reaction will dull his new “weapon”;
if your child utters a bad word in front of strangers, briefly apologize for it and change the topic of conversation, try not to give other adults the opportunity to show undesirable reactions to this offense;
Analyze with a psychologist or psychotherapist how best to communicate with your child in such situations, especially if they have become a frequent occurrence in your home.

So, as the notorious Dr. Spock wrote: “The high ideals and principles that parents instill in a child become part of his nature and, in the end, manifest themselves, even if the child goes through a period of infatuation with swear words and rude manners.”

Raise a Grateful Child How many times have you done this lately: encouraged your child to say “thank you” to a neighbor, friend, or grandma? The desire to raise a grateful child is natural, and such reminders are not offensive. But to cultivate gratitude as a trait, one should keep in mind the long process of raising a child.
Want to teach your child to be grateful? The best way teach gratitude - demonstrate it yourself, and not tell them how to act.

There is no such thing as an ungrateful preschooler, because... Children this age do not understand gratitude to the same extent that adults do. Five- and six-year-olds are just beginning to realize that “thank you” and “please” are more than the magic words that make mom and dad happy.

When you are angry or hurt because your child didn't thank you or someone else, consider that all young children are self-centered. It is natural and normal for them to believe that the whole world exists only for them. The ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes is the cornerstone of appreciation, and it will be years before children can think about anything other than their own wants and needs...

Show your children that you are grateful to them

Children do not come into the world with a built-in sense of gratitude; they learn this over time. Before children begin to show interest in the feelings of others, they need to feel loved and cared for by their parents. Gratitude can be fostered by allowing children to feel the pleasure of being appreciated. For example, you can tell your daughter: “What a blessing to have a daughter like you!” This will express your gratitude for having her in your life.

Be grateful yourself

Do unto others as you would have your children do unto you or anyone else. Children tend to behave the way we behave, not the way we talk. Especially babies who don't speak yet. Because your behavior shapes your children's habits, be sure to remember to thank your spouse and others for their consideration.

Let your children know that you are grateful for what they do.

It is important to praise any impulse of empathy (for example, a toddler offering his favorite blanket to a crying baby) and to let the child know when his actions have brought joy to someone. Margarita V., a mother of two children, always expresses gratitude for the attention and care of her daughters. She thanks three-year-old Masha for bringing the toy. And five-year-old Emma says: “Thank you for painting me such a beautiful picture. I love!". And her efforts are not in vain. “My youngest still needs to be reminded to say thank you, but Emma usually does the talking.”

Don't insist on gratitude
Instead of scolding or shaming your child when he is not polite or grateful, praise him when he does the right thing. Tell your child, “I like that you say “thank you” when he thanks you for a gift. And this habit will be gradually reinforced by your positive attitude. Do not order your child to be polite (“Thank Aunt Anya for the blocks now!”). Do not refuse a gift if the child does not thank you. Gratitude should not come from shame or fear of punishment. But a gentle reminder (“What did you say?”) can help a preschooler learn to be polite. The best way to teach gratitude is to model polite behavior yourself and include your children in these efforts. For example, you can say to a 3-year-old child: “Let's thank Aunt Anya together for the blocks.” If the child does not join, do not insist. Just tell Aunt Anya: “Misha doesn’t feel like talking right now, but I’m sure he’ll really like your wonderful gift.” Later, when Misha plays with cubes, explain to him that people are pleased if they are thanked for their gifts. Eventually, as your child gets older, he or she will become more likely to think about others and express their appreciation for them.

Consider the reasons for impolite behavior

If your preschooler is hungry, upset, or tired, you shouldn't expect him to be a well-behaved companion. An overtired child may feel just as upset about their behavior as you do. The child's temperament should also be taken into account. Some children are more talkative and therefore say “thank you” more easily. If a child is withdrawn and uncommunicative, his smile will say more than words.

Keep in mind: Children say what's on their mind.

While adults are taught that good manners help maintain good relationships, impulsive preschoolers tend to blurt out whatever comes to mind. For example, when Margarita V. gave her niece two fashion dolls, Katya said: “I hate such dolls!” instead of “thank you.” In such a situation, the first impulse is to reprimand the child for rude behavior. But this will offend the disappointed child and make him feel guilty rather than grateful. To soften the feelings of the dejected donor, you can draw a general conclusion about the child’s behavior, as Katya’s mother did: “Children of this age say what they think, don’t they? Thank you very much for the gift to Katya.”

Role rehearsal

Consider the fact that preschoolers love to play pretend. Play out different scenarios where the teddy bears have to express gratitude to someone. With older children, try rehearsing how to say thank you for an unattractive gift before a birthday or holiday. Ask: “What will you say if they give you something you don’t like?” If nothing comes to mind, think of responses that express gratitude without false enthusiasm. For example, like this: “Thank you very much!”

Use the "less is more" philosophy

If your child's room resembles a toy store, such abundance will dull the sense of appreciation. The excitement of receiving a toy or treat disappears if it happens frequently. To avoid too many toys, you can ask relatives to give practical things, such as clothes. But if children receive mountains of gifts for their birthday, then some things can be put away until the next appropriate occasion. This way, every gift will be special and more valuable.

If your children want more, no matter how much they already have, you should explain to them that in life people don’t always get what they want. The inability to get everything is one of the aspects of life. Otherwise, children will believe that they have a right to what they already have and even more. This attitude excludes any gratitude. Of course, your actions should not contradict your words. If your closets are overflowing with clothes or you can't resist the latest trinket, don't be surprised if your kids are constantly clamoring for new toys.

Inspire your children to be energetic about helping others

Not only will they understand how good it feels to give, but they will also develop the ability to empathize and understand the needs of others. Children can offer their help (carry bags to the apartment, for example) not only to family members, but also to neighbors. Every family has things that are no longer needed, but one doesn’t dare throw them away: they are in decent condition, and they can still serve someone. You will need just a few minutes to find out by phone from the staff of the nearest orphanage whether their kids need things or your children’s soft toys. This idea may seem strange to some, but you can also call a nursing home to offer some things you no longer need. Let your children be present when you talk. Take and hand over your things together. By gaining such experience, children realize their importance. And attention is transferred from oneself to others.

By cultivating gratitude in your children, you will see their appreciation for you grow.

How to stop a child from saying “bad” words?
Probably, each parent has encountered the problem of the appearance of “bad words” in the child’s speech. The kid suddenly, for no apparent reason, stuns us with curses - be it a curse word, or a slang rude word.

What is the reason for the appearance of such words in a child’s vocabulary? How to stop your child from saying “bad words”? Let's find out what psychologists advise.

Why does the child say curse words?

A child absorbs everything he sees and hears literally like a sponge. Remembers words heard in kindergarten, school, on the street, at home, on TV. And these words are not always examples of high literature. Obscene expressions, swear words, jargon can be heard all the time.

Moreover, until the age of five, children usually cannot understand the difference between a “bad” word and a good one very well. He just heard this word and remembered it. Perhaps it was said by one of the older comrades in the yard during a game, by one of the adults on the street. Arriving home, he mechanically repeated what he heard, without putting much meaning into the uttered curse.

In this case, you should not punish the child. It is enough to explain to him that it is very ugly to say such a word and good people do not say such words. Usually this explanation is sufficient. If the child already knows that the words being spoken are “bad”, abusive, but still does not listen and continues to repeat them, then you should take a more serious approach and try to determine the reason.

Swearing as a way to attract attention

Every child needs a sufficient amount of parental warmth, care and attention. Sometimes it happens that parents, always busy with their own problems or the problems of a brother or sister, do not pay enough attention to the child. Having noticed that a “bad” word can quickly attract the missing attention to it, the child can begin to use it.

In this case, the only effective way to stop a child from swearing is to show sufficient attention to his problems and experiences, support and approval.

Desire to appear more mature

Often, the main characters of films, while generally positive, do not mince words and hurl curses like a drunken cobbler. This usually happens at the climactic moments of punishing evil with good in a fierce battle between the hero and his antipode. It is clear that the child, trying to be like such a daring fellow from the television screen, also takes into account his vocabulary.

In this case, you should limit the viewing of films, allowing you to watch only those in which there is no swearing of the characters.

Self-affirmation of a child through swearing

It also happens that parents begin to literally control every step of the baby, trying to protect him from various troubles and instill in him the necessary skills. Parental advice is replaced by categorical instructions - do this, do that, put on these pants, read this book.

The child may begin to resist this attitude towards his little personality. This may manifest itself in the appearance of “bad” words in his statements. Thus, he tries to assert himself.

To avoid this, try not to go too far with categoricalness and do not replace advice with orders. Give your child a little freedom - after all, he can decide for himself: what to play, what to draw and what book to read.

Other reasons for swearing

It also happens that curses appear in a child’s speech as a reaction to problems in the family - a divorce or quarrel between parents, the appearance of a new family member - a brother or sister, or even simply a refusal to buy a desired toy.

“Bad” words can also become an attempt to adapt to an already established group of guys, perhaps older. This can happen after changing place of residence or school. Trying not to be a black sheep, the child begins to imitate the accepted rules in the new team, including the manner of speaking.

How to wean a child from repeating “bad” words?

The most important thing that parents can do in such a situation is to be close to the child, support and encourage him, praise him for what he can do, instill in him a feeling of security, love and care. Do more work with your baby, learn letters with him, teach him to read, write, draw, and play interesting games.

Typically, in a home where there is a friendly and supportive atmosphere, children do not strive to assert themselves or attract attention through swearing. The child sees that it is quite possible to achieve success in life, make responsible decisions, and be an adult without using foul language. If you hear a child swear, simply explain to him that such words should not be said.

If a child has committed an offense for which you decide to punish him, be sure to explain to him why you are punishing him. The child must clearly understand that he is being punished for a very specific offense, and not because he is so bad.

Try to avoid arguing with your marriage partner in the presence of your child. Be discreet and friendly. If you yourself set an example of foul language, without holding back in your hearts, then it will be difficult for you to explain to your child why you are allowed to swear, but he is not.

Try to teach your child to express his feelings without resorting to foul language. After all, children may simply not know how to express anger, resentment, despair, without resorting to curse words, if you do not help them learn this.

My child says bad words, what should I do?

Have you noticed that your child says bad words? Don't worry, there will probably be a solution to this problem. First of all, you need to find out why your child started saying bad words, and only then decide what to do.

Have you noticed that your child says bad words? Don't worry, there will probably be a solution to this problem. First of all, you need to find out why your child started saying bad words, and only then decide what to do.

How to deal with bad words if the child is still small

One of the reasons that encourages the baby say bad words- this is the repetition of expressions and words often used by someone from his environment. The child repeats what he hears, repeats it mindlessly, without even understanding the meaning of what was said. Children are very sensitive, sometimes with the help of bad words they express their attitude towards something, intuitively feeling the negative connotation of the word.

Before starting to deal with a child’s bad words, every adult needs to listen to how and what he says in the presence of the baby and, if indecent words sometimes escape from him, he must try to get rid of them.

Of course, in most families it is not customary to use swear words, especially in front of children, and, moreover, it is completely unacceptable to intentionally teach children bad words. But even in such families, parents often face this problem. In such a situation, in order to deal with the child’s bad words, adults need to show maximum patience.

Under no circumstances should you scold or punish a child. But it’s also not worth letting everything take its course, pretending that you didn’t hear a swear word from your child. He may decide that swearing is not a bad thing.

You need to try to explain to the child that these words are indecent and that they can offend other people. Explain to your child the difference between good behavior and bad behavior, beautiful and ugly. Read books to your child to enrich his vocabulary, play educational games. Spend more time with him, talk and walk. Dealing with a child's foul language early age necessary with special sensitivity and care.

What to do if a teenager says bad words?

In adolescence, children use swear words most often in order to show how mature and completely independent people they are, in their opinion. Very often, a teenager’s feigned rudeness hides self-doubt and an inability to control their emotions. It is necessary to combat foul language in a teenage child, taking into account the characteristics of this age.

Parents need to show the ability to support and develop all the good things in their children and counteract bad behavior. No swearing, scandals or harsh accusations. Calmly but firmly try to explain to your child that you do not like swearing, that his misbehavior offends others. In order to effectively deal with the bad words of a child in adolescence, you need to seriously and clearly explain to him that literary expressions are sufficient to express his emotions in Russian. It would not be superfluous to emphasize that people who resort to using swear words are most often poorly educated and do not know how to express their dissatisfaction with anything in any other way.

It is absolutely useless to scold, punish, and even more so, hit a child on the lips if he uses unprintable expressions. This will not bring the desired result. To effectively deal with a child’s bad words at any age, become an example for him. Watch your own speech, teach him to react correctly to someone else's abuse and rudeness. Your own behavior is the most powerful way you can influence your child.

Why does a child say “bad” words?

When they used to tell me that small children are small problems, and the older the child gets, the more problems become that parents need to cope with, I found it hard to believe it.
Now I have a five-year-old son, and all sorts of problematic situations are growing with him, but today I want to tell you the problems of another family that can affect me and you.
In my friend’s family, along with her daughter, problems in her upbringing are growing - Alice began to swear. Moreover, she says “bad words” behind the curtain or unconsciously during the game.

Alice
Alice is five years old, just like my Nazar. They go to the same group in kindergarten. When I first heard a child say “fuck” while changing clothes, I was simply horrified. Then my mother, starting to make excuses, told me a little about herself.
According to Alice’s mother, their family practically does not swear. My husband sometimes can't help himself while watching football or talking on the phone with his co-workers.
The child was taught that saying “bad words” is bad, but little Alice has been swearing for several weeks now. At first her parents asked her not to say bad words, then they scolded her and put her in a corner, but to no avail.
Now Alice does not swear openly - she hides behind the curtain. After which he comes out as if nothing had happened and goes to play.
Sometimes Alice sings “bad words” while playing, humming them under her breath. The kindergarten teacher, to tell the truth, is not happy about this, because she is afraid that other children will start singing along with her.

Let's try to figure it out My Nazar tried to swear, but somehow he quickly lost the desire for this nasty activity. I think that in the future it will be necessary to look for more than one psychological approach so that the child does not start saying “Bad words.” But now we don’t have such a problem.
So I became curious: “Why did the child in our family easily cope with this problem, but in Alice’s family the problem persists for several weeks?”

What's wrong with “bad words”?
A five-year-old child fully understands that if his parents ask him not to say “bad words,” then disobedience is bad. At this age, children develop the moral and ethical sides of their small, but personal personality, and there is a fear of not being accepted in society (family, kindergarten group, etc.).
If a child swears behind a curtain (refrigerator, bedside table, etc.), it means that at that moment he understands what he is doing wrong.
Maybe Alice's parents reacted incorrectly to the first attempts Alice swears, and now Alice checks what will happen if she continues to do badly. Lightning didn’t strike after her curses, the walls were still there, which means there’s nothing wrong with “bad words.”

Yes, nothing happens around the child. But maybe I should tell her a fairy tale about a beautiful princess who started swearing and her mustache slowly began to grow? Or did the tongue change color (blue, green, purple)?
Use different psychological approaches that would explain to the child in “childish” language that swearing is bad. A fairy tale will be your best assistant .

Parents' guilt - lack of attention
At five years old, a child can easily occupy himself with play. He can independently decide what he needs for entertainment: drawing, playing ball, making puzzles, modeling, etc.
But what to do when you’re tired of everything, and mom and dad are constantly busy? The child wanted a portion of affection and tenderness , but parents don’t have time for this.
Then all the cunning techniques that the child has already learned and used repeatedly are used: requests, hugging, and also attracting attention with the help of “bad words.”
Yes, it's bad, but how it works! Whatever the parents are doing, they immediately leave everything and go to the child so that Once again explain that saying “bad words” is not good and that is not done in their family.
Instead of reacting to such antics, put aside all your important work And make time for your child (play, tickle the child, sing songs, etc.). If during the game you do not hear children’s curses, then you have already found the reason, all that remains is to draw conclusions.

We strive to be like our idol
Even children dream of being princesses and princes, ballerinas and boxers, ladies and businessmen. It all depends on the environment in which the child is raised.
My Nazar wants to be a robot. One day he watched a movie about robots with us and since then he has been imagining in games that he is a robot.
If his idol said a “bad word” from the TV screen (nowadays it is often heard from TV), then, most likely, he would remember and begin to use this word in an effort to be like his idol.
Perhaps Alice wanted to be like her father, from whom you can sometimes hear curses, maybe she copies other people or TV characters. Every child contains a mystery that only parents can solve.

Among other reasons for children's abuse may be: compensation for failure, desire for revenge, struggle for self-affirmation due to excessive parental care. It would not be amiss to consider the influence of the children's team in which your child grows and is raised.
I shared these thoughts with the mother of a small and beautiful girl, Alice. I really hope that they will find a way to get rid of the problem that is ruining their family happiness.

Why do children swear?

It would seem that just recently your baby was very, very tiny and sweetly sleeping in his crib. And then he grew up and even began to speak. Day by day, the vocabulary becomes more and more, the child rises to a new level in communication. And at this pleasant moment for parents, bad words can slip from the lips of their beloved child. Naturally, the first question from parents is: “Where from?”

If your child said an indecent word only once and forgot about it, don’t panic. Let's assume that this is an accident. But if you notice that obscene language quite often comes from your child’s mouth, then under no circumstances leave this issue unattended. Take this very seriously. Try to calmly understand the current situation and correct it.

My child is swearing, what should I do?

Try to find out the reason for the appearance of “bad” words. Perhaps the baby needs to pay a little more attention, maybe this is his way of trying to get you to spend more time with him. Or maybe he just lacks discipline. In any case, you need to watch your baby and help him cope with this problem.
As he grows up and develops his personality, the baby often copies many of the actions of his parents or other adults, their habits and words. Sometimes these are not entirely decent words, so be more careful about your own speech. You should not swear in the presence of a child.

Some dads really like to listen to songs with swear words. If you really like this kind of “creativity”, listen to your health, but only when the child is not at home.

Here are some tips on how to react and behave correctly in situations when your child curses with indecent words.

1. Rule one – don’t panic! When you hear a swear word from your child’s mouth, try to remain calm as much as possible. If you cannot restrain your emotions and react violently, then the result will definitely be negative - this word will certainly take root in vocabulary your baby.

2. Not reacting at all to “bad” words is also wrong. The baby says this word to check your reaction. And if you pretend that you didn’t hear anything, the child will repeat it again and again until he sees your reaction.

3. Try to explain to your child that speaking swear words is indecent. Good kids don't say things like that. But are you good with us? And after these words, try to distract your baby with something, some game or interesting activity.

4. Talk to the child, try to find out from whom he heard indecent words. The most important thing is to establish emotional contact with the baby. And then next time he will come running, first of all, to you for advice. If your child heard a swear word from a movie on TV or from someone you know, take control of this matter.

Monitor more carefully what programs and movies your child watches. And just talk to your friends so that in future they will be more careful and not express themselves in the presence of the baby.

5. When all the previous methods have been tested and they have not helped you in any way, you will have to apply more stringent measures. For example, punishments. If your child says a bad word, deprive him of his favorite activity, for example, playing on the computer, and instead force him to do something he doesn’t really like, for example, washing the dishes. But if he didn’t speak for two - three days“bad” words, be sure to mark this and reward it with something.

6. When a child is overly impressionable, intimidation tactics can be used against him. It is enough to tell him that by saying “good” words, he becomes better, more beautiful and smarter. But “bad” words are just the opposite – stupid and ugly. And hardly anyone will want to be friends or communicate with him.

7. It often happens that a child says a swear word in front of strangers. In this case, it would be more correct to apologize for the child and switch the conversation to another topic so that the child understands that he acted ugly and therefore they do not want to continue communicating with him.

How to stop a three to five year old child from swearing?

Unfortunately, very many children swear. Some people start doing this earlier, and some later. The main purpose of their utterance is not at all the same as for adults. For adults, swear words are a way to express resentment, pain, fear or irritation. And kids are just simply trying to attract attention to themselves. They will say a “bad” word and see how others react to it. Therefore, in this situation, the ignoring method is perfect. When he sees that this doesn’t bother you at all, he will simply stop saying such words and expressions. Of course, your baby will continue to look for other ways to piss you off. She is such a childish nature. Try to choose one action that does not particularly bother you, and begin to react violently to it. For example, if he painted your favorite ladies' magazine, scold him. Subsequently, the baby will do this systematically and regularly, but this is not such a big sin as swearing. So periodically frown and pretend that this really bothers you.

What to do if a child between five and seven years old swears, how can he be weaned from using obscene words?

During this age period, the child still swears in order to attract attention, but at the same time, he already realizes that this is an insult. Here, obscene language is used in moments of very strong offense in order to further hurt the offender.

But he still doesn’t understand the meaning of most words. For him, the main factor is to swear.

In this case, intimidating events come to the rescue. The awareness that he will be punished for “bad” words or will go through humiliation. The carrot and stick policy works quite well here. For good behavior there is a sweet prize, and for bad behavior there is a severe punishment.

How can you stop a child between the ages of seven and eleven from swearing?

So, your child is a schoolboy, he has already become much more mature, his own “I” is being formed. A significant influence is exerted by the school where the child studies, the company in the yard with whom he walks and communicates, and simply the people around him. If previously the baby went for a walk only accompanied by adults, now, most often, he goes on his own. Therefore, the principle of carrot and stick will no longer work here - he is no longer afraid of “horror stories”, and is not particularly interested in a sweet prize.

If you use corporal punishment, soon your child will simply withdraw into himself and become uncommunicative. In this case, serious conversations, as with an adult, will help. Try to “reach out” to his soul, “grope” for that same thread that you can pull and influence your child.

For children of this age, it is very important what place they occupy in society. So try to explain to your child that if he continues to use obscene language, he may become an outcast or homeless. Illustrative examples It's enough on the street.

How to wean a teenager from obscene words?

When your child is already from eleven to fifteen years old, then he is no longer a child, but a teenager. This is not an easy period both in the life of the teenager himself and in the life of his parents. His favorite phrase: “I have the right!”

And if parents previously managed to become an authority for their child, then they will be able to influence their teenager. He might listen to some advice and recommendations. The technique of intimidation is strictly contraindicated here. This will only make the situation worse.

You can have a friendly conversation and try to find out who is the unquestioned authority for the teenager. Try to influence through him, for example, with the phrase: “But your idol would not do that.”

Surround your baby with love and care, watch your speech, be interested in what films your child watches, what music he listens to, and then he will not need to express himself using swear words.

-Bad words. Smirnova O.E., educational psychologist MBDOU 365

Previously, when we were children, we were embarrassed to say bad words in the presence of adults. And now no one is afraid of anyone. Look, the girl is five or six years old, and she will say that it’s a shame to repeat it.

The word hurts no less. They can be offended, humiliated, ridiculed. A small child can also utter curses, but he does not understand the meaning of the phrase spoken. Children of three or four years old express their aggressive intentions by swearing. They repeat bad words after hearing them from adults.

The child expresses aggressiveness not only with words, but also with appropriate intonations. A defiant tone, for example, is the same sign of an aggressive attitude, a negative attitude towards a person, as are offensive phrases.

Some of the adults, faced with this problem, begin to be indignant and attack the children with reproaches and retaliatory abuse. It sounds something like this: “Oh, you such a scoundrel, what are you saying?!” At the same time, children believe that they are right, and a conviction is formed in the true reality of this form of expression of relationships. After all, once the expected reaction is obtained, the remedy has worked, and it can be used in similar situations.

Other adults try to pretend that they do not hear swear words and expressions in children’s conversations. They believe that without focusing the child’s attention on bad words, he will soon forget them. Although this is debatable. The memory of a five-year-old child is almost in no way inferior to the memory of adults, and even surpasses tenacity. And in general, such a form of response, or rather non-reaction, can be regarded as connivance. This leads to the fact that young children of both sexes verbally offend their offenders even more. There are some adults who try to explain to the child that swearing is not good, that it is shameful. But as a rule, children do not respond to such explanations. Preschoolers themselves understand perfectly well that this is bad, and that is why they act this way.

How to be? How to solve this problem that often occurs in families? Is there really no acceptable form of response to verbal aggression by representatives of the younger generation? I would like to give here an example of an insoluble problem, brilliantly understood and solved by one kid. Hearing the question of who should be saved first if an old woman and a child are drowning at the same time, and you can only pull out one, he authoritatively declared: “We must make sure that no one drowns.”

We, dear parents, need to create living conditions for children such that they do not have the desire to use verbal aggression to achieve their goals. You need to teach goodness, and not with slaps and shouts, but by personal example. Then the child will have fewer reasons to resort to abuse, swearing and insults

Your baby is getting older every day and is starting to talk more and more. And the parents are surprised when the baby begins to say abusive and swear words. If a child said this word once and forgot, it can be called an accident, and not think about it. And if the baby says such words regularly, then you already have a reason to seriously evaluate the situation and correct it.

Behavior problems
Parents or kindergarten teachers often note that children begin to use such expressions more often, and children practically do not react to adults’ comments, so it becomes difficult to correct such child behavior, especially when children deliberately say such words. There are several reasons, and if you identify them, you can fix the problem quite quickly.

Why do children curse?
A child under five years old may say these words unconsciously; he believes that this is an ordinary word and does not understand its bad meaning. Parents, when they hear such words from a child, should not panic, but should react adequately and evenly. Children often experiment with speech and actions to test and evaluate their parents' reactions. Perhaps the child will cease to be interested in bad words if he does not expect an acute reaction from you to the words. Parents should not scold their child, but should gently explain that it is not customary to say such words in the family - they are ugly. Children over the age of five, when uttering curse words, usually feel a sense of guilt when using such words in their speech, but if the child says bad words again after your remark, it means that he has psychological reasons for this.

Why?
Children of those parents who are very busy and are interested only in themselves begin to swear and use bad words. Thus, they attract the attention of their parents to themselves, to their inner experiences and problems. By uttering such words, children can express their protest, since shouting and punishment are also signs of attention; it’s better than nothing at all. In such a situation, you should take a different look at your relationship with your child, devote more of your time and attention to him, study with him in the evenings, play, go for a walk, and the problem will be solved. In addition, the baby can imitate adults or older children who are always close to the child. Thus, children mentally compare their bad expressions with a brave, strong and confident person. The child repeats bad words to appear more serious and mature. It will not be possible to completely protect a child from the influence of the outside world, but it is quite possible to develop the right associations in him. It is necessary to protect the child from communicating with negative characters, it is necessary to monitor what he watches on TV, to avoid scenes with violence and cruelty, using expressions.

How to compensate
Sometimes a child uses foul language to compensate for his failures and stress due to relationships with peers, relatives, brothers and sisters. The child is criticized and reproached for many failures, and he uses swear words as a shield, or wants to look bad, since he is considered so. Parents, criticizing or telling the child that he is lazy, bad, sloppy, angry, provoke such behavior. For parents, the baby always wants to be the best, but if he is told that he is bad, he tries to be that way. You can easily correct this situation, you just need to pay attention to your mistakes in speech and upbringing, notice in time the problems in the relationships in the child’s team, and correct the situation. You can find the unique features of the baby that distinguish him from others and explain to him that he is no worse than others.

What should parents do?
To eliminate the causes of foul language, parents need to take a closer look at the baby and, without infringing on his rights and personal space, take care of the child and show attention to his problems. The child should be helped to properly develop his abilities and demonstrate his talents. The father must help the child become strong and brave.
In addition, you should not scold or spank the baby if he says obscene words, but you should not ignore it either. The child will decide that he is doing the right thing if you ignore him. Therefore, try to explain to the child that he said bad words, but he does not need to say such words, since the baby is good. But don't make it preachy, but speak as you would speak to your spouse. When children speak as equals, they understand perfectly.
Adults need to remember that they are role models, and if bad words are said, then the logical question will follow, why children should not swear if adults swear. And adults will cease to be an ideal for the child, because only bad uncles and aunts say bad words!

Whatever they say, problems with bad expressions in children arise from ourselves, and it is recommended to start raising a child with yourself, paying attention to your communication style and vocabulary. If you speak beautiful and cultured speech, then against your background, the child will not want to look ill-mannered.

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Have you noticed that your child brought an obscene word from the street? How to properly respond to bad words from children?

In this case, it is important to understand that it is simply ineffective to scold, punish, and even more so, hit a child on the lips if he says words brought from the street. these actions will not bring the desired result. Don’t worry, there will probably be a solution to this problem. We have collected 10 tips for dealing with bad words.

What to do if a child brings an obscene word from the street?

1. First of all, don’t panic. A swear word in the mouth of your baby does not mean that a criminal future awaits him. And it doesn't mean that you are bad parents. It's just a word, the meaning of which a child most often does not understand.

2. The best thing you can do in this situation is not to pay attention. Don't yell or scold your baby. It is unlikely that the child will understand why you are unhappy, but your violent reaction will interest him. You should not laugh, because, having pleased the parents once, the child will try to achieve this again. Therefore, pretend that you did not notice anything unusual in the baby’s speech.

3. Ask the child: “What does this mean?” If the child explains, indifferently say that you don’t understand why use such a rude word. But, most likely, the baby will not be able to answer, and then express surprise at how you can use incomprehensible words, you never know what they mean.

4. Answer with a non-existent word. Invite your child, if he lacks expressive words, to come up with something of his own, and not to repeat after others.

5. Children, experimenting with speech, often invent sound combinations themselves that can make their parents blush. If this bothers you, come up with other, consonant sound combinations. Perhaps your “bloom” and “blam” will inspire your baby and force him to “change his record.”

6. Say that swear words upset you. If your child is old enough to understand the explanations and learn the rules of behavior, talk (calmly and without unnecessary emotions) about what speech prohibitions are accepted in society and in your family.

7. Watch your speech.

8. Suggest a synonym. In other words, if a child uses a word for its intended purpose (most often this happens with rude words that are acceptable, but unpleasant for parents), offer a decent, but preferably equally emotional, synonym.

9. Develop your child’s speech, read more, learn poetry. For a well-read child, a bad word will certainly be lost in the vocabulary diversity and will not pose a significant threat.

10. Accept the fact that broken words exist, which means the child can “pick up” them. And it will be better if you do not threaten and intimidate in response, but try to hear what is hidden behind the bad word - a desire to be noticed, a request for help, an attempt to establish yourself among peers, or thoughtless repetition.

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