Going without a woman for a long time. What happens if you don't have sex for a long time: truth and myths

Let's be honest: everyone needs sex.This is a basic human need, even according to Abraham Maslow and other psychologists, it is a source of pleasure, it is a huge component of a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman, and this is normal.

It's not normal when he's not there.

The fact that women's initiative is unacceptable and civil marriage- “fornication” is nothing more than stereotypes of the past. The situation is similar with sex.

The times of the Inquisitions crusades and even “tips” where there was no sex are long gone.

If with men everything is clear: “they always want only one thing” - as most women think, and they are right: sex is really vital for a man, then with women it is more complicated. They need sex no less than men.

But, nevertheless, for them this topic is still wrapped in a tangle of stereotypes: “Oh, how embarrassing!”, “On what date to give so as not to seem approachable” and further down the list.

And as a result, a huge number of women suffer where they could enjoy, and maintain your health.

No, I don’t encourage you to rush into the arms of the first person you meet, to do this not out of love and without desire. Today I’m not talking about the moral and ethical side of the issue at all.

Nevertheless…

What are the risks of abstinence?

Any doctor - oncologist, gynecologist, mammologist - will ask this question during an appointment: how regular is your sex? And not because he is just interested.

Because it's irregular sex life or complete absence of sex in women, with scientific point visually and purely physiologically, are harmful to health. And psycho-emotional too.

There is nothing worse than an angry, dissatisfied woman, embittered at the whole world.

True, a caveat is needed here: a woman becomes gloomy and embittered when she lives in a relationship that is far from happy and irregular and non-orgasmic sex is added to all the problems.

And often she puts it on herself , listening to reproaches from a partner, who often turns out to be a bad lover.

The latter is generally a question of realizing accumulated emotions.And don't accuse me of sexism. We are talking about completely life-like moments.

For a woman to be happy, she needs to invest, not accumulate emotions. This is especially true for negativity, and sex often helps to realize both anger and the desire to dominate. The main thing is to agree with your partner on how you will do this.

Sublimation doesn't solve everything

Yes, you can sublimate as much as you like. In creativity, in career, in sports, but the absence of sex and orgasms primarily affects the sense of self. Even so, women.

By experiencing orgasms, she expresses her feminine sexuality. And all this allows her to feel desired, feminine, beautiful in the end.

These are not just mental and psychological issues, the issue here even concerns hormonal levels.

How long a woman can abstain from sex depends on her characteristics, sexual constitution, her temperament and body.

It is impossible to derive one formula for everyone: “no sex for 2 weeks is the norm, but no more.”For some, the need for intimate life occurs a month after its absence, for others - after a year, for everyone it is different.

Consequences for the psyche from , as they say, “is obvious.” Here is an incomplete list of what abstaining from intimate relationships for a long time leads to.

1. Emotional instability

Roller coaster mood, irritability - hormone imbalance provokes imbalance and very low stress tolerance.

You cry for no reason more often than usual, you yell at your husband, colleagues or girlfriends over trifles, everything annoys you...

Maybe you just haven't had fun for a long time ? This is not mockery or sarcasm. Because pleasure in sex is a separate desire that must be satisfied.

2. Fatigue

Just because you are constantly under tension, your body does not receive sexual release. He is exhausted, he lacks the hormones of joy and pleasure. And it responds with fatigue and decreased performance.

3. Insomnia

Agree, there is no sweeter sleep than the sleep after good sex. And the hormone oxytocin, which is produced in the process, generally acts as a natural pain reliever.

Therefore, you sleep better, and nothing hurts, and the body after “discharge” is much more relaxed (the effect of the hormone prolactin) - and sleep comes faster.

By the way, with a normal level of it in the body, the pain threshold is much higher. And in general the body is more resistant to external .

4. Depression

Because sex and orgasm stimulate the production of endorphins and dopamines, as well as serotonin, oxytocin and others - hormones of pleasure, joy, affection, happiness.

Because it is very difficult to provoke joy hormones from scratch.

5. Weak protection

According to research, a person who regularly has sex has 30 percent more immune cells in their body. And in general there is greater resistance to infections.

6. Gynecological problems

Regular sex life provides stimulation and massage of internal organs - accordingly, this is the prevention of stagnation in them.

And in its absence, the blood in the pelvic organs stagnates, and inflammation may begin and intensify. PMS and other troubles.

Orgasm is a powerful prevention of gynecological diseases.

7. Skin problems

Since during sex the body also produces collagen, which is responsible for the beauty, elasticity and youth of the skin, if it is absent for a long time, the skin can become noticeably “tired” and lose its elasticity.

Some may suddenly develop acne (lack of hormones), while others may develop extra wrinkles.

8. Uncontrolled weight

Yes, it has been proven many times: sex is an excellent addition to sports. One sexual act burns from 200 to 360 calories. Calculate how many kilos per month you can lose with regular sex.

And during sex, almost all muscle groups are involved, the heart is trained and the musculoskeletal system is strengthened (thanks to hormones).

A question of influence

How long a woman can abstain from sex without harm depends on many factors, including health, sexual temperament, activity and the intensity of her life in general. etc.

But nevertheless, you cannot deceive the body and sooner or later it will demand “its own.” Otherwise, he faces long consequences.

And if there is a place in life for everything, but there is no place for intimate joys and regular, high-quality sex, you are unlikely to feel completely happy, agree.

Enjoy it,
Svetlana Grabova, sexologist,
trainer of the online educational platform Growth Phase

From a physiological point of view, the absence of sex, that is, reasonable sexual abstinence, has never brought harm to anyone. People who have a weak sexual desire can live without sex for many years, and this sexual abstinence will not harm their health.

But in men and women with a strong sexual desire, abstinence leads to decreased performance and depressed mental state. In addition, if we are talking about married people, their relationships with each other change significantly.

Spouses become more aggressive and unrestrained towards their other half.

Lack of sex - can a person live without sex?

Every person, if desired, can intelligently manage their sexual behavior without consequences for health.

But how to live without a rich intimate life, how not to harm your health? How to build a married life in such a way that the lack of regular sex does not lead to sad consequences and does not cause harm to health?

There is no universal remedy that could solve this problem overnight. First of all, it is necessary to look for reasons; for this, the wife and husband should try to speak honestly and openly with each other, and jointly solve problems that lead to sexual abstinence.

If you can’t figure out the situation on your own, a sexologist can provide qualified assistance to the couple.

Can a man live without sex?

Modern society daily demonstrates to the world how important full-fledged sexual relationships are in a person’s life, and how detrimental their absence is to people’s health.

It is believed that men are much more interested in sex than women, which is why they endure abstinence much more painfully. How long can a man live without sex?

Indeed, by their nature, representatives of the stronger half of humanity are more sexual, more active and sexually excitable. Therefore, it can be difficult for them to adapt to the situation and learn to live without sex for some time.

However, the realities of everyday life have taught men how to get out of such a situation in different ways. Some people throw themselves into their work, others find an interesting hobby (diving, billiards, mountaineering).

Thus, in a modern, slightly promiscuous, sexually-relaxed world, a man is quite capable of withstanding 2-3 months without intimate life, if we do not take into account the possible pregnancy of a girl or wife.

Then everything will depend on the harmony of relationships in the family, on the degree of trust between spouses. With an understanding of the whole situation, with a conscious attitude towards it, a man is quite capable of living without sex throughout the entire period of pregnancy and for some time after childbirth.

Is it harmful for a woman to live without sex?

A woman tolerates sexual abstinence much more calmly. She can discuss her intimate problems with her friends and get advice from them on how to pass the time without sexual pleasures.

Sometimes psychologically difficult situations can occur in a woman’s life, for example, she goes through rape and then some of them choose abstinence, that is, voluntary renunciation of sexual life for a certain, fairly long period of time.

How long a woman can go without sex depends on the circumstances that led to abstinence. This could be a week, a month or even a year.

How to live without sex in marriage - reasons for lack of sex

When a man and woman are married, situations may arise from time to time that require short-term or long-term abstinence. The reasons for a married couple's lack of sex may be different.

For example, a woman has her critical days. Couples usually cope with this situation quite easily. Sometimes intimate life is stopped for religious reasons, for example during fasting. If both spouses approach this decision consciously, then sexual fasting is easily tolerated by them.

Interruptions in regular intimacy are, of course, caused by pregnancy. If a couple expecting a child visits a gynecologist, he will explain that in the absence of contraindications, the ban on intimate life is valid from 8 to 10 weeks of pregnancy and two months before the expected birth.

If both spouses fully understand the importance of motherhood and fatherhood, then the process of abstinence will not have any impact negative impact on their family life

How to live without sex with your husband

Unfortunately, there are periods in family life when sex life ceases to be enjoyable. This period, if the changes, of course, are not related to the age of the partners or the illness of one of them, simply needs to be survived.

We need to find something in common that will help support each other. This could be worries at the dacha, repairs in an apartment or house, hobbies in tourism, or more active participation in the lives of children.

A passion for yoga will help you get through a difficult period and sublimate sexual energy.

Life without sex consequences

It doesn’t matter at all whether a person is married or has a single status; full sexual relationships and the fulfillment of sexual needs are very important for him.

If you look for an answer to the question of what life without sex leads to, you won’t be able to find a definite answer. For example, in men, complete abstinence from sex until the age of 30-35 can not only weaken his sexual abilities, but also subsequently, after the man reaches 45 years of age, lead to impotence.

If we talk about a woman, then at the age of 25 to 35 years, sex life is simply necessary for her, since during intimacy she receives from her partner a certain amount of male sex hormones, which the female body cannot produce in sufficient quantities for it.

And remember: having a sex life makes people not only cheerful and mentally calm, but also allows them to maintain youth.

Answers Mikhail Koryakin, urologist-andrologist of the Treatment and Rehabilitation Center of the Ministry of Health, Doctor of Medical Sciences:

— In women, sexual desire is much less expressed than in men, since it is determined solely by the level of the male sex hormone testosterone. And they, by definition, are short, female body it is gradually produced by the adrenal glands and ovaries, and its content in the blood is at least 10 times less than in a man.

In sex, a woman, as a rule, responds to activity and expressions of sympathy from the man she likes. She cares more about him in himself, as a potential father of her children, and not about sex as such. The exception is female hypersexuality, but this is a rare phenomenon and cannot be called the norm.

Yulia Reppo, PRO Health: And the girl’s age doesn’t matter?

- Playing! Sexuality increases with age, when a woman gains experience and the ability to experience orgasm. This usually comes after marriage and having children.

— Nevertheless, they often write that sex is good for health. Supposedly there are even a bunch of diseases that it cures. It turns out that if you don’t have sex, you’ll get sick?

— Sex is a source of positive emotions, relieves psychological stress, gives pleasant sensations, improves mood, helps build relationships and affection. This is very useful in our everyday life. In addition, sex is a good sleeping pill. What is it in Darwin: After mating, all living things fall asleep. But there are big doubts about treatment. At least I have not seen anyone who managed to recover from any illness with its help.

— And yet: how long is it normal for a woman to live without sex?

- Until she makes a choice. And not from among casual acquaintances. No matter how trivial it may sound, a woman (unlike, by the way, a man!) can get the greatest pleasure from sex only if she has feelings for her chosen one, whom she likes and with whom she is ready to build a family. Because a woman’s global task is to build a family, not to gain pleasure. The desire for the second appears later, when the first has already been achieved. A woman's reproductive period is short. She understands this - albeit at the level of biochemistry in the body - and, of course, strives to find her other half as quickly as possible and uses sex exclusively to attract a man.

- So, those who are worried that a long absence of sex will cause stagnation in the organs, etc., do not need to worry.

— The belief that living for a long time without sex is harmful has no basis, as does the idea of ​​stagnation in the pelvic organs with long-term abstinence.

Figures and facts

A girl thinks about sex 18 times a day.

Regular sex improves memory. But only for a woman. Making love does not affect a man's memory.

Each of us spends 600 hours of our lives on sex.

2-3 cups of coffee a day for a man is a positive dose that reduces the likelihood of erectile dysfunction.

It has long been known that prolonged abstinence from intimacy can negatively affect a person’s physical and psychological health. The reasons for forced refusal of sex can be different - poor health, long business trips, lack of a permanent sexual partner.

The reaction to the lack of intimate life is individual in each case and one cannot assume exactly how a person will feel under the current circumstances. Although experts assure that there are a number of reactions inherent in any person. For example, men who have not had sex for a long time become more aggressive and irritable, and they are characterized by increased dissatisfaction with others and with themselves in particular. Women experience a general decline in vitality, bad mood or frequent insomnia.

Regular sex life plays one of the key roles in the life of any man. For most of them, sex has no meaning sacred meaning, but serves as a way to relieve accumulated irritation and relax.

When a man in a relationship refuses physical intimacy with his chosen one, the first thing she thinks about is the presence of a rival and the loss of feelings on his part. But such suspicion is not always justified. Before suspecting your loved one of having an affair or fading love, pay attention to his well-being and mood. Perhaps he is having difficulties at work or is simply tired of the monotony of life together. Household worries may well serve as a reason for refusing sexual activity.

If you notice that your lover does not show interest in intimacy, try to talk to him about it and find out the reason for this condition. Don't forget that almost any problem in a relationship can be solved with a simple frank conversation.

Perhaps the crux of the problem lies in the monotony of your sex life. This problem often causes the coldness of a man in a long-term relationship. Try to diversify your life, change your environment, take a break from your daily routine and try to add something new to your sexual games. Vivid and rich emotions will help restore the previous level of relationships without much difficulty.

Consequences of male abstinence

It is believed that a person can adapt to any circumstances. This can be attributed not only to psychological factors, but also to physical well-being. If a man has not had sexual release for a long time, then the body may well get used to this state, which may result in problems with erection. In the worst case, there is a risk of blood stagnation, which can lead to the development of prostatitis.

The maximum permissible period of abstinence for men is three weeks; if the period exceeds the specified period of time, then health problems may develop.

In case of prolonged refusal of sex, psychological problems may develop. When having sex, a man satisfies not only physical, but also moral needs. For him, intimacy is an excellent way to get rid of accumulated negativity, to feel more courageous and in demand among the fair sex. Lack of sex leads to depression, self-doubt and apathy.

How to tell if a man hasn't had sex for a long time

To understand how long your chosen one goes without sex, you just need to take a closer look at him. Due to the fact that abstinence has a negative impact on the general emotional state of a man, one can quite easily notice its signs:

  • Longing for loneliness. Men are not known for their emotional openness, unlike women. They are not used to complaining about their difficulties, for fear of appearing weak in the eyes of their chosen one. Therefore, in such a situation, they try to be alone, completely closing themselves off from others.
  • Increased aggressiveness. Without the opportunity to get sexual release, a man feels accumulated irritation, which leads to embitterment. In such a situation, your chosen one stops monitoring his emotions; it is more difficult for him to keep them to himself. Anger, rejection of other people's mistakes, active gesticulation and general dissatisfaction are sure signs of a long absence of sex in a man.
  • Regular sex is not only a way to get pleasure, but also a physical need for every person. If your companion has abstained from sex for a long time, then he may experience obsessive thoughts of a sexual nature. If he began to behave like a “concerned male,” then it is quite possible that he has not had sex for a long time.
  • Problems with sexual activity. Long-term abstinence negatively affects the desire for intimacy. Psychological problems associated with decreased libido can lead to serious difficulties with erection in the future. If you notice that a man has become apathetic and is not eager for intimacy, then perhaps this is precisely the result of the lack of sex.

How long can a woman go without sex?

Women are by nature more emotional than men. For them, sex is not only the satisfaction of physical needs and a way to get psychological relief in a quick way. In order to agree to intimate intimacy with a man, a woman needs not only to have the very need for sex, but also to feel sympathy for the potential partner.

By virtue of psychological characteristics representatives of the fair sex are able to go without sex for quite a long time, up to several years.

Consequences of female abstinence

Long-term abstinence from sex negatively affects not only the man, but also the woman. But if men are at greater risk physical health, then in women it is primarily their psycho-emotional state that is at risk. Representatives of the fair sex are rarely ready to have “one-time” affairs, necessary solely for the sake of sexual satisfaction. For them, sex on a subconscious level is associated with romantic relationships, so women are looking for a man for a relationship at the same time “getting a lover in the package.”

Without a permanent sexual partner in the person of a loved one, a woman becomes depressed, experiences increased irritability, self-esteem noticeably decreases, and confidence in her own inferiority appears.

Women can abstain from sex without risk of health problems for no more than two months. Longer abstinence can lead to apathy, developing into a prolonged depression, from which it will be quite problematic to get out of it without the help of specialists.

Signs of female dissatisfaction

Due to fairly high emotionality, it is difficult for a woman to hide changes in her own life, especially if they concern her intimate part. It is worth highlighting a number of signs that will show that a woman has abstained from sex for a long time:

  • Irritability. Regular sex helps the fair sex to be in a good mood. During sexual intercourse, endorphins are actively produced, which are responsible for mood and self-awareness. If a woman has become more irritable and twitchy, then most likely she has not had intimacy for a long time.
  • Dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Regular sex life helps a woman keep herself in shape. All internal reserves are activated in moments of intimacy, and the production of hormones has a positive effect on a woman’s well-being. Some experts claim that regular sex is a great way to lose extra pounds and “tighten up problem areas.”
  • Sleep disorders. During intimacy, a woman’s body actively produces the hormone oxytocin, which has a strong calming effect. In case of abstinence, the production of this hormone is at a minimum, which entails irritability and insomnia.
  • Premature aging. An active and regular sex life allows a woman to stay young longer due to the increased production of collagen, which is responsible for the elasticity of the skin.

It is necessary not only for procreation, but also for keeping the body young and healthy. If we talk about women, long-term abstinence can lead to poor circulation in the pelvic area. Sometimes this can negatively affect the health of the genital organs. But don’t worry if you don’t have a sexual partner for some time; sometimes it’s not as scary as it seems.

Sometimes the reason is long absence of a sexual partner because of travel, because men often go on business trips, join the army or actively work until late in order to provide for their family. Sometimes the reason may be the presence of a mistress, because then he will want sex with his wife less. Often the lack of sex life is due to the fact that a woman does not have a partner. It doesn’t matter at all what caused it, it’s worth figuring out how to live with it.

A couple of months of abstinence won't do any harm.. What are the consequences of long-term abstinence? Doctors have already proven the fact that 2-3 months without sex are not a threat to women's health. That's why do something else and don't worry. You can improve your health using vitamins. Additionally, undergo an examination so that, while you do not have an intense sex life, you can determine the state of your health and strengthen it. Don’t be afraid of unexpected consequences; most often these are unnecessary experiences that are not supported by anything.

How to live with this? Unfortunately, many women live for years without sex, which is certainly not the norm. But in this case, everything depends solely on your perception of this issue and your ability to put up with the current situation. If you can’t change anything at the moment, then don’t be upset or nervous. This will make you look worse, age faster and become an unhappy woman. If you radiate happiness and joy, then men will perceive you as an attractive person. You can learn to live without sex, the main thing is to want to.

Some people prefer put up, and someone is actively looking for a partner to brighten up their lonely evening. In principle, changing partners can also be a solution, if this is acceptable to you, just try to achieve internal harmony.

First of all, stop focus on this. There are many areas of activity in the world in which a woman can realize herself. Don't just think about the fact that you don't have sex and how you can solve it. Believe me, sooner or later the one who will give you a lot of pleasure and will be able to provide you with a rich sex life will appear in your life, but if you bother and think only about this, then you will only scare away men, or vice versa - only those will be drawn to you , who only needs sex from you and nothing else.

Prepare yourself to meet your future partner. If you have already come to terms with the fact that you do not have sex, then do not exclude the possibility that you will soon have a partner. This is why you must be prepared for intimacy. Start taking care of yourself, and soon you won’t even notice how this process is dragging you down. Update your wardrobe to part with the past and tune in to a new relationship. This way you will feel like a completely different person and can even try on the role of a fatal temptress.

Buy several sets sexy lingerie, because even psychologists have proven that a woman in beautiful lingerie feels more confident. Start exercising and adjust your diet to lose excess weight and become even more attractive.


Following these recommendations, many women who live without sex for a long time suddenly find themselves in strong men's hands and hear words of declaration of love. Often this even leads to a marriage proposal. The secret is that self-confidence and attractive appearance- this is a real magnet for men, although not all women understand this. If you have been without sex for a long time, then the “love me as I am” attitude is not applicable to you. This means you are doing something wrong.

Don't forget about self-satisfaction. Something that many people are ashamed to talk about, but something that almost everyone does is masturbation. In fact, in many cases, this is a great solution for single people who haven't had sex in a while. A universal option, because you don’t need to make any effort. This way you can improve blood circulation in the pelvic area, you will fall asleep better and stop thinking only about sex. Of course, this will not replace a living person, but it will distract you for a while. Masturbation is considered to be something indecent, shameful and unnatural, but for a single woman this may well be the only acceptable option.

Maybe it's time to change something? Whatever one may say, a woman needs not only sex, but also love, affection and attention. A man will be able to make her happy and give her the care that every representative of the fair sex needs. If the years go by and you still can’t find that one and only, then maybe it’s time to change something. Tell your acquaintances and friends that you are actively searching, start communicating more and wear a short skirt and high-heeled shoes more often, because it is so feminine. It’s stupid to expect sex if you constantly go around without makeup, in wide trousers and with a ridiculous bun on your head.

Learn to radiate femininity, become more graceful, look at men with different eyes. You shouldn’t be overly frank in your outfits, it’s enough to give a hint and, who knows, maybe this unexpected meeting will end in a wedding and a happy family with children.

If you find an error, please select a piece of text and press Ctrl+Enter.