What is a wedding in the Orthodox Church for? What does a wedding in a church give: for the family, spouses, for the person himself, what is the meaning of the sacrament

Nowadays, despite the widespread and massive return of people to Orthodoxy, unfortunately, we often have to deal with a rather indifferent attitude of modern Christians towards church marriage, often with a complete misunderstanding of its meaning and necessity.

According to the teachings of the Church, marriage is a sacrament established by God, which sanctifies marital relations, makes the marital union indissoluble, imposes on those getting married the obligation to care for each other as for themselves, and to raise their children in the spirit of faith and Christian morality. In the 19th century, the Christian world believed in marriage as a sacrament, recognized its binding force, and how few cases there were of divorce between spouses, and there was no mention of so-called civil marriage. Cohabitation without church blessing was considered the greatest crime, and those who allowed it were subjected to reproaches and contempt from society.

And during the persecution of the Church in Soviet time Church marriage was everywhere replaced by civil marriage. A godless society has also formed a corresponding attitude towards marriage. What is the result? Before our eyes, a husband leaves his wife, or a wife runs away from her husband - and these pictures do not surprise anyone. And the “free” (from any morality) West seems to be saying: this is not the limit; divorce should be considered not only acceptable, but also useful. “It would be a good idea to change your hair and husband once every 7 years,” American psychologists advise their clients, “this will bring new sensations into your life.”

In this regard, the question arises: does it contain civil marriage necessary conditions for sustainable happy marriage?

In order for marriage, understood in its true meaning, to be truly happy, it is necessary that those entering into marriage constantly maintain awareness of its high dignity and do not lose sight of the rights and duties consecrated by marriage. This is the mutual love of spouses and respect, this is not passionate love, which soon passes, but love based on the fear of God, love in the image of Christ for the Church, which is why the Apostle calls: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her sake” (Eph. 5:25).

Thus, a husband, according to the teaching of the word of God, must love his wife as Christ loves the Church, i.e. to love unfailingly until the end of his life, to love until he is ready to suffer and die for her, to love even if his wife did not love him, to love in order to win her over with his love. Such love is able to endure all the hardships in life, is able to make amends for the dissimilarity of characters, the difference in external qualities, and various shortcomings, etc.

On the other hand, a wife, along with love for her husband, must have obedience. Although, according to the teaching of the word of God, the husband is given power, he should look at this power not as an advantage, but as a duty. The primacy was given by God to the husband not for the humiliation of the wife, not for domination and dominion over her, but for the reasonable, meek management of the house. And what kind of power does the Apostle imagine this power to have? The most gentle, selfless, noble power. And in fact, what power could be purer and higher than the dominion of Christ over the Church? What relationship could be more sublime than that in which Christ and the Church find themselves? Here is the closest kinship, the most complete spiritual unity, the fairest equalization of rights that one can imagine, without humiliating power and subordination.

But in a civil marriage, can such relationships exist between spouses unchanged, until the end of their lives? Without a doubt, no - this can be judged by its fragility and ease of termination.

People of this century know only passion, understand only infatuation, and only sensual love is pleasant. But moments of such love are too short and fleeting. And so the union, deprived of the main force that holds it together, falls apart.

“From marriage comes temporary happiness and even eternal salvation,” taught St. Theophan the Recluse. “Therefore, one should approach it not with frivolity, but with fear and caution. God blesses with a good marriage. Therefore:

Be pious, devoted to God, in Whom you trust, pray that He Himself will send the other half, pleasing to Him and saving you.

When seeking a marital union, do not assume bad goals, or passionate bliss, or self-interest, or vanity; but - the one that God has determined - mutual assistance in temporary life for the sake of eternal life, for the glory of God and the good of others.

When you find it, accept it as a gift from God, with gratitude to God, as much as with love, as much as with respect for this gift.

When the choice is over, a combination must occur, a spiritual-physical merging, mysterious from God.

A natural union, for love, is a wild, gloomy union. Here he is cleansed, sanctified, sobered through the prayer of the Church by Divine grace. It is difficult to stand alone in a strong and saving union. The threads of nature are torn, but grace is irresistible. Arrogance is dangerous everywhere, especially here... Therefore, humbly, with fasting and prayer, approach the sacrament." ("Outline of Christian Moral Teaching").

Marriage

When good children, setting out on some journey unknown to them, come to their mother and ask for her parting blessing, then the tender mother, sincerely blessing them, does not express what sincere feelings of hers, what kind of heartfelt wishes she does not pour out! Our most loving mother, St., does the same. The Church of Christ, when its obedient children - the named bride and groom - appear in St. the temple of God, seeking and asking for her maternal blessing on the unknown path of married life. Hitherto strangers to each other, united, according to the instructions of the Providence of God who rules everything, into one couple, the bride and groom truly enter into a new family life for them, and therefore do not know what awaits them ahead in this married life: is it joy, peace of mind, or any mental anxieties, sorrows. In this case, they need the right parting words, they need a true indication on the upcoming path of life. And here is St. The Church, with love and triumph accepting her married children into the arms, among her blessings, does not pour out what touching prayers for them, what good wishes does not proclaim to them! And she accompanies these earnest prayers, these well-wishes with solemn and deeply significant rituals.

According to the church charter, marriage should be celebrated immediately after the liturgy (Required), so that the bride and groom, through reverent prayer during the liturgy, cleansing themselves through the sacraments of repentance and communion of the most holy Body and Blood of Christ, worthily prepare to receive the grace of the sacrament of marriage.

The first part of the sacrament of marriage is betrothal.

Groom in St. in the temple stands on the right, and the bride on the left - this is how God-given order and decency are observed: the husband is the head of the wife and in the order of standing takes precedence over his wife. Two rings for the betrothed are placed close to each other on St. throne as a sign that those getting married entrust their fate to the will of God's Providence and from the Lord, from His holy. the throne asking for a blessing for their betrothal. The bride and groom are holding brightly burning candles in their hands, which indicates that their motives for marriage are the brightest, purest, free from reprehensible calculations, that marriage is a pure, holy matter, not afraid of the light, just as sin and vice are afraid of this light. As lightly and brightly as candles burn, so bright, pure and chaste should be the soul of those getting married; how fieryly candles burn - with such fiery love they should burn throughout their married life for each other, for the saint. The Church that blesses them.

The most tender parents cannot wish their beloved children as many blessings as the saint asks them from God. Church during the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. As soon as the bride and groom entered the temple of God to ask for a blessing from above for their married life, St. The Church immediately begins to send its prayers to the Lord, where it asks Him for those marrying each other: about the hedgehog giving them a child to continue the family line; May they be granted more perfect, peaceful love and help; that they may remain in unanimity and firm faith; O hedgehog blessed by him in immaculate residence; Oh, yes, the Lord God will grant them an honest marriage and an undefiled bed.

Then the priest takes the rings from the throne and places them on the ring fingers of the bride and groom’s right hands.

Having first taken the groom’s ring, he says three times: “The servant of God is getting engaged (Name) servant of God (Name)". Each time he pronounces these words, he makes the sign of the cross over the groom’s head and puts on a ring. Then he takes the bride’s ring and says, marking the bride’s head with a cross, three times: “The servant of God is engaged (Name) servant of God (Name)", and also puts a ring on her right hand ring finger. The bride and groom then exchange their rings three times.

The ring, according to ancient custom, served as a seal and affirmation; the threefold exchange of rings seals and confirms the complete mutual trust of the persons getting married: henceforth they entrust each other with their rights, honor and tranquility; from now on they will live for each other, they will exchange everything with each other - and this reciprocity between them will be constant, endless (just as in a ring - a circle - there is no end, so the marital union must be eternal, indissoluble). The groom, as a testament to his love and readiness to use the advantage of his strength to help a woman’s weakness, gives his ring to the bride, and she, as a sign of her devotion to her husband and readiness to accept help from him, mutually gives her ring to the groom.

Now the betrothed approach the analogue on which the saints lie. The Gospel and the Cross of Christ; With this, the Church inspires that in all the paths of their lives, in all enterprises and undertakings, spouses should have before their eyes the law of Christ, outlined in the Gospel, so that in the wounds of Christ the Savior crucified on the cross they should seek consolation among the troubles of everyday life. At the same time, St. Church in the words of St. The psalmist, depicting the blissful state of God-fearing people in their marital, family life, answers the questions of the mind and heart of the newlyweds, what awaits them ahead, what share of well-being is prepared for them. “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways” (Ps. 127:1) - this is the cornerstone, this is the secret of future family happiness, immutable, just as the word of God is immutable. So, the true happiness of a marital union depends on how the spouses behave in relation to God and St. His commandments: if the newlyweds revere God and walk in His ways, fulfill His commandments, then the Lord Himself, by the power of His power and wisdom, will arrange the internal and external good of their lives where those who alienate God encounter only failures and sorrows...

The engaged bride and groom stand on the same “foot” (on a spread piece of cloth) as a sign that they will have to share the same fate in everything - both happy and unfortunate - and publicly declare their good and unconstrained will before the cross and the Gospel for marriage. The bride and groom must marry by mutual consent and desire: their relaxed disposition towards each other serves as a guarantee of family happiness in marriage and one of the most important conditions for the legality of marriage.

However, the heartfelt mutual rapprochement of the bride and groom, inspired by the word of God (Gen. 24, 57-58; 28, 1-2), should be sanctified by the blessing of the parents and those who take their place (Judges 14, 1-3). Children act sinfully when they enter into marriage without the blessing of their parents: the prayers of parents, their blessing, according to the testimony of the word of God, establishes the homes of children (Sir. 3:9), i.e. strengthens the happiness and well-being of children's family life.

So, after the bride and groom have expressed mutual consent to marry before the face of the Lord Himself and before the entire Church, the minister of the Lord’s altar begins to perform the wedding itself. Through the lips of a priest in the touching prayers of St. The Church remembers the blessed marriages of St. by God Himself. our forefathers and calls on the newlyweds the same blessing of the Lord, which they have been granted, prays to the Almighty to preserve the newlyweds, as Noah was preserved in the ark, Jonah in the belly of the whale and the three youths in the cave of Babylon, to grant the new spouses unanimity of souls and bodies, long life, an unfading crown in heaven, to bestow from the dew of heaven above and from the fatness of the earth, wine and oil and all good things, so that they can, “having all self-righteousness,” teach those who require. At the same time, the shepherd of the Church begs the Lord to remember not only the couple themselves, but also their parents, “it is through the prayers of the parents that the foundations of houses are established...”

But then came the most important, most solemn, holiest moment in the entire ceremony of the wedding. Crowns are placed on the blessed couple - signs of royal power - and this gives the couple the blessing of becoming ancestors, as it were, princes of the house, kings of all future offspring, and at the same time they are given the obligation to use the granted power for the benefit of those under their control. In addition, since in ancient times the heads of the winners were decorated with crowns, laying crowns on the bride and groom serves as a reward for them for their chaste life before marriage.

“Crowns,” explains St. Chrysostom, “are placed on the heads of those getting married as a sign of victory, in order to show that they, invincible with passion before marriage, approach the marriage bed as such, that is, in the state of conquerors of carnal lust. And if someone was caught up in voluptuousness and gave himself to harlots, then why should he, the conquered one, have a crown on his head?” In fact, what should the newlyweds, who did not preserve their chastity before marriage, think and feel when laying crowns?.. They should feel unworthy of crowns, and in this deep consciousness of their own unworthiness, let them accept the firm intention to blot out their previous sins through repentance and godly deeds .

When laying crowns on the bride and groom, the servant of the altar of the Lord says: “The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)","The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)", and, blessing both three times (in honor of the Holy Trinity), three times he proclaims the mystical words: Lord our God, crown me with glory and honor(their)! “Lord!” the priest seems to be saying with these prayerful words. “Just as this couple is now adorned with crowns, so decorate this marriage union throughout their lives with glory and honor, with all the gifts of Your blessing: may the new spouses shine in life with purity and holiness, as they shine their crowns, - and may they be honored with heavenly crowns, prepared in the future life for the victors who overcome the evil customs of this world and all harmful lusts, given for the observance of marital fidelity, for Christian deeds.”

So St. The Church secretly and effectively brings down to the newlyweds the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, sanctifying their marriage, the natural birth and upbringing of children. From this moment the groom is already the husband of his bride, the bride is the wife of her groom; from this moment, husband and wife are bound by indissoluble bonds of marriage, according to the immutable word of Christ the Savior: “what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

Now the spouses need to know their responsibilities in relation to each other, and so the Church of Christ offers in the apostolic reading read at the wedding the true teaching about the mutual responsibilities of husband and wife. The marriage union, according to the teaching of the word of God, is a great mystery (Eph. 5:32), due to the fact that it is an imprint and reflects the spiritually grace-filled union of Christ the Savior with the Church. Pure, unchanging mutual marital love, signifying the Savior’s love for the Church, is the source of all marital virtues, the source of mutual family peace and happiness; it alleviates all the difficulties, sorrows and illnesses of the marital state - it exalts the gifts of happiness and makes the needs of poverty bearable. The husband is the head of the wife, says St. ap. Paul, like Christ, is the Head of the Church (v. 23). But the Savior loved the Church so much that he gave himself up for her (v. 25), died on the cross for the sake of her holiness and purity - so a husband should love his wife as himself (v. 33), must love until he is ready to lay down , if necessary, his very life for his wife, in order to bring her true salvation. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, the same St. teaches. Apostle: He who loves his wife loves himself (v. 28). So, the husband must be the head of his wife, but not a reckless, not feeble-minded, not flighty, but a reasonable, thinking head. The husband must be the head of his wife, but not in order to torment his wife with hard-heartedness, coldness, exorbitant demands (the wife is the body of her husband: if the head begins to neglect the body, then it itself will disappear), but so that, according to the word of God , it is prudent to treat your wife as with the weakest vessel, showing her honor as a joint heir of grace-filled life (1 Pet. 3:7), in order to always and everywhere be an example for your wife and with Christian meekness to notice and correct her shortcomings. The husband must be a true friend and trustee of his inseparable companion, he must seek joy and consolation not on the side, not in other people's houses and gatherings, but at home, near his wife, who left her parents' house for her husband and expects everything from him alone ...

Just as the Church obeys Christ, so wives obey their husbands in everything, as the Lord Himself (Eph. 5; 22, 24), the word of God commands; but by no means should a wife “rule over her husband... for Adam was created first, and then Eve, and it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman, being deceived, fell into transgression” (1 Tim. 2:12-14). The Church of Christ holyly and God-fearingly fulfills the will of the Lord, and a wife should do the same in relation to her husband. A wife should try to preserve the honor and name of the one to whom the All-Good Provider has combined it, to attract her husband’s favor not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly clothing (1 Tim. 2:9), but with her reasonable submission, inviolable fidelity, with gentle suggestions, good orders in the house and all the ways that the great name of the husband’s helper bestows.

Another edifying lesson is taught to the spouses in the Gospel reading about marriage in Cana of Galilee, which is prescribed for marriage. The poor couple, who did not have the means to supply enough wine to treat the wedding guests, was, however, worthy for the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and His Most Pure Mother to honor the marriage with Their presence, so that the Queen of Heaven Herself would pay Her attention to her poverty and beg Her Son to help the need of the newlyweds by miraculously turning water into wine.

So, poverty does not in the least prevent Christian spouses from becoming rich in piety: a person’s well-ordered life, according to the word of Christ, does not depend on the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15). If the newlyweds place their main treasure in God, if they adorn themselves with Christian piety and fulfill the commandments of Christ all the days of their lives, then the Lord God, “who in Cana of Galilee honored the honorable marriage with His presence, will Himself reward them and fill their house with wheat and wine.” and oil and all good things, grants abundant food for spouses and household members, grants His holy blessing to all their labors, to villages and fields, to their houses and livestock, so that everything may be multiplied and preserved..." (Trebnik).

After reading the Gospel, new instructions are given to the spouses. A cup of red wine is brought, the priest blesses it and gives the couple to eat from it three times as a sign that from now on, throughout their subsequent married life, they should have everything in common, the same desires and intentions, and that they should share everything in half: and happiness and misfortune, and joys and sorrows, and labors and peace, and feats and crowns for deeds.

After eating from the chalice, the shepherd of the Church, having united the right hands of the spouses and covered them with the end of the stole (as a sign that they were united in Christ, and that the husband, through the hands of the priest, receives a wife from the Church itself), circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern, expressing their joy by this circumambulation , spiritual rejoicing. In addition, since a repeated circle always serves as a sign of eternity, by walking in a circle, those getting married show a sign that they will preserve their marital union forever as long as they are alive, and express a vow not to dissolve the marriage for any reason. The circumambulation is performed three times to the glory of the Holy Trinity, which is thus invoked as a witness to the vow of the spouses.

At the end of the procession, the crowns are removed from the newlyweds with special greetings, in which the servant of God wishes them exaltation from God, joy, multiplication of offspring and keeping the commandments of God: “Be magnified, O bridegroom, as Abraham was, and blessed as Isaac, and multiplied as Jacob, who walked in peace and do in righteousness the commandments of God. And you, bride, be magnified like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebecca, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for God is so pleased.” Then, in the two subsequent prayers: “God, our God” and “Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit,” the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and undefiled in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, facing the newlyweds who bowed their heads, these petitions are imprinted with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing.

Finally, the couple, husband and wife, kiss each other, and the wedding ceremony ends.

This is how everything is done beautifully and for our edification in the sacred rite of marriage, how everything lifts us from earth to heaven! Our Lord Jesus Christ deigned to consecrate the marriage union with the grace of the sacrament for this purpose, so that Christian spouses, presenting the mysterious image of His most holy union with the Church and assisted by the grace of the sacrament, would be adorned with God-like perfections.

How far away should be from us every disorderly movement, every idle word, every evil and unclean thought, how reverently and attentively we must stand in the temple at a time when the blessing of the Lord is asked for the new couple, when the Lord Jesus Himself is invisibly present with us Christ, just as He was present at the wedding in Cana of Galilee!

At the wedding celebration of St. The Church allows us joy and joy, but wants our joy and joy to be pure, holy, worthy of the great sacrament for the sake of which they are allowed. “Marriage and the establishment of it (feast), says the Church of Christ to guide us, let it happen with all quietness and honesty befitting Christians for the glory of God, not by the devil’s cackling, nor by dancing and drunkenness, which are forbidden to Christians; for marriage is a matter holy: the same and holy this will be done." “Marriage must be celebrated in a decorous manner, in a Christian manner, and not in a pagan one, without nasty and seductive songs, without shouting, showing a Sodomite wedding rather than showing a Christian wedding; and also without magic and any nasty actions.” “It is appropriate for those invited to a marriage to sup or dine modestly, honestly and with reverence, as befits Christians,” the ancient saints and God-bearing fathers said at the council. Our modest, reverent wedding feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself, who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and performance of the first miracle. (Priest A.V. Rozhdestvensky. “The Family of an Orthodox Christian.”)

Advice for those getting married

In order for a wedding to become a true holiday, memorable for a lifetime, you need to take care of its organization in advance. First of all, agree on the place and time of the sacrament.

In churches where there is no pre-registration, the newlyweds agree to perform the sacrament directly on the wedding day. In this case, the approximate time of the wedding is established, since weddings may begin only after other requirements. You can also negotiate with a specific priest.

The church will need a marriage certificate, so the marriage must be registered at the registry office before the wedding.

In the first centuries of Christianity, weddings took place directly after the Divine Liturgy. This does not happen now, but sharing the sacrament before starting married life is extremely important. Therefore, newlyweds need to do everything necessary for communion: fasting, prayer, mutual forgiveness.

Anyone who wishes to worthily receive communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ must prayerfully prepare himself for this at least 2-3 days in advance: pray more and more diligently at home in the morning and evening, attend church services. Before the day of communion, you must be at the evening service. The rule for Holy Communion is added to home evening prayers (it includes the canons: repentance to the Lord Jesus Christ, prayer service to the Most Holy Theotokos, Guardian Angel, as well as the Follow-up to Holy Communion). Fasting is combined with prayer - abstinence from modest food - meat, eggs, milk and dairy products - and if married life already takes place - abstinence from marital relations.

The newlyweds must come to the temple on the wedding day at the beginning of the service, do not eat anything, do not drink or smoke the day before, from 12 o'clock at night. In the church, the bride and groom confess, pray during the liturgy and receive Holy Communion. After this, prayers, memorial services and funeral services usually take about an hour. During this time, you can change into wedding clothes (if the temple has a room for this).

The presence of friends and relatives of the newlyweds at the liturgy is desirable, but, as a last resort, they can come at the beginning of the wedding.

Taking photographs and filming a wedding with a video camera is not allowed in all churches: it is better to avoid this by taking a memorable photograph against the background of the temple after the sacrament has been performed.

Wedding rings must be given to the wedding priest in advance so that he can consecrate them by placing them on the throne.

Take a piece of white linen or a towel with you. The young will stand on it.

The bride must definitely have a headdress - a veil or scarf; cosmetics and jewelry - either absent or in minimal quantities. Pectoral crosses are required for both spouses.

According to Russian tradition, every married couple has witnesses who organize the wedding feast. They will also be useful in the temple - to hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. Witnesses must be baptized.

Church charter prohibits marrying several couples at the same time, but in practice this happens. Of course, each couple would like to get married separately. But in this case, the sacrament can drag on for a long time (the duration of one wedding is 30-40 minutes). If the newlyweds are ready to wait until they have married everyone else, then they will not be denied a separate sacrament. On weekdays (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) the likelihood that several couples will come is much less than on Sundays.

Church-canonical obstacles to marriage

The conditions for marriage established by civil law and church canons have significant differences, therefore not every civil union registered in the registry office can be consecrated in the sacrament of marriage.

The Church does not allow fourth and fifth marriages; Persons who are closely related are prohibited from marrying. The Church does not bless a marriage if one of the spouses (or both) declares himself a convinced atheist who came to church only at the insistence of his spouse or parents. You cannot get married without being baptized.

You cannot get married if one of the newlyweds is actually married to another person.

Marriage between blood relatives up to the fourth degree of relationship (that is, with a second cousin) is prohibited.

An ancient pious tradition prohibits marriages between godparents and godchildren, as well as between two successors of the same child. Strictly speaking, there are no canonical obstacles to this, but currently permission for such a marriage can only be obtained from the ruling bishop.

Those who have previously taken monastic vows or been ordained to the priesthood cannot be married.

Nowadays, the Church does not conduct inquiries about adulthood, mental and physical health the bride and groom, the voluntariness of their marriage, since these conditions are mandatory for registering a civil union. Of course, hide from representatives government agencies certain obstacles to marriage are possible. But it is impossible to deceive God, therefore the main obstacle to an illegal marriage should be the conscience of the spouses.

The lack of parental blessing for a wedding is a very unfortunate fact, but if the bride and groom reach adulthood, it cannot prevent the wedding. In addition, atheist parents often oppose church marriage, and in this case the parental blessing can be replaced by a priestly blessing, best of all - the blessing of the confessor of at least one of the spouses.

The wedding does not take place:

During all four multi-day fasts;
- during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa);
- on Bright (Easter) Week;
- from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19);
- on the eve of the twelve holidays;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year;
- September 10, 11, 26 and 27 in connection with strict fasting for the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross);
- on the eve of patronal church days (each church has its own).

In extreme circumstances, an exception to these rules can be made with the blessing of the ruling bishop.

Superstitions associated with weddings

The remnants of paganism make themselves felt through all sorts of superstitions that are preserved among the people. Thus, there is a belief that an accidentally dropped ring or an extinguished wedding candle foreshadows all sorts of misfortunes, a difficult life in marriage or the early death of one of the spouses. There are also widespread superstitions that the one of the couple who first steps on the spread towel will dominate the family all his life, and whose candle after the sacrament turns out to be shorter will die earlier. Some people think that you can’t get married in May, “you’ll suffer all your life.”

All these fictions should not disturb the heart, for their creator is Satan, called in the Gospel “the father of lies.” And you need to treat accidents (for example, a ring falling) calmly - anything can happen.

Follow-up on second marriages

The Church disapproves of second marriage and allows it only out of leniency towards human weaknesses. Two prayers of repentance are added to the study on second marriages; there are no questions about freedom of expression. This rite is performed if both the bride and groom marry for the second time. If one of them is getting married for the first time, the usual ceremony takes place.

It's never too late to get married

In godless times, many married couples were formed without the blessing of the Church. But it happens that unmarried spouses remain faithful to each other all their lives, raising their children and grandchildren in peace and harmony.

The Church never refuses the grace of the sacrament, even if the spouses are in their declining years. As many priests testify, those couples who get married in adulthood sometimes take the sacrament of marriage more seriously than young people. The pomp and solemnity of the wedding is replaced by reverence and awe before the greatness of marriage.

It is important for believing couples that their marriage is legal not only before the law, but also before the face of God. And for him to become like this, it is necessary to go through the wedding procedure in the Orthodox Church, observing all the rules. The www.site has prepared an article about them so that you can understand all the intricacies of this sacred rite and know what is needed for a wedding in a church and how to prepare for it.

Wedding rules: who can and who can’t get married

The first thing you need to know before getting married in the Orthodox Church is the conditions for admission to the ceremony, because There are some restrictions. The church will not marry a couple if the bride and groom:

• are related by blood up to the fourth degree (brothers and sisters, first cousins, second cousins, etc.);
• are relatives in a direct line (father and daughter, mother and son), this also applies to adopted children and parents;
• are half-brothers and half-sisters on their mother's or father's side;
• are in the clergy (man) or monastics (woman);
• changed gender.

In addition, the question often arises of what is needed for a wedding in a church if one of the couple or both have already been married to others. You need to obtain an official divorce certificate. But keep in mind that if the current marriage is the fourth in a row, then they will still not be allowed to get married; the church recognizes only three marriages.

There are also cases in which a wedding in a church is allowed only with the permission of the bishop (a person with the highest clergy):

• If the bride or groom is already married to other people. To dissolve such a marriage, you will need the permission of the bishop, as well as his consent to repeat the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church.
• If the future spouses have a large age difference or one of them is a minor.
• If one of the newlyweds is disabled or has serious mental illness.
• If the husband and wife are spiritual relatives (godparents of one child, godparents and godchildren).
• If a couple wants to get married before signing at the registry office. This is possible in exceptional cases, for example, if one of the couple is seriously ill or is forced to soon leave for military operations.

In addition, it is allowed to get married if the husband or wife professes other Christian religions, for example, Catholicism. But only on the condition that the children are raised in the Orthodox faith. And this must be documented, namely the written consent of an official representative of another religion.

What is needed for a church wedding?

Now that we have found out what circumstances can become an obstacle to this sacred rite, let's talk about what it takes to get married in a church.

To do this, both spouses must be Orthodox Christians and be baptized. If the latter requirement is absent, then it is necessary to undergo a baptismal ceremony before the wedding.

Another condition is that the couple must be officially married. A marriage certificate will need to be presented. The age at which you can undergo a wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church corresponds to the law - 18 years. We have already talked about exceptions above.

Everything about a wedding: from choosing a date to accessories

After you have made sure that there are no obstacles to the ceremony, you need to begin preparing for the sacrament of wedding. There is also a set of principles that must be followed. But let's start with the date. It is with the choice of number that the whole procedure begins.

According to the rules, a wedding in a church cannot be held:

• on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, as well as August 29 and September 11 (days of the Beheading of John the Baptist), September 14 and 27 (days of the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord);
• during weeks and great fasts,
• from the Nativity of Christ to Epiphany.

All these days are marked in the church calendar, so it’s not difficult to estimate the date yourself. However, before making a final decision, you should first consult with the priest.

Important: the bride should make sure that her period will not fall on the wedding day. During this period, girls are prohibited from taking part in any sacraments.

Wedding dress

If the groom can afford to come to the wedding in any classic suit, then more stringent requirements are imposed on the bride’s image:

• Her dress should be white and closed. Shoulders, back and décolleté should be covered. Great option will be a lace dress with sleeves and a collar. It meets all the rules, but allows you to look feminine and romantic.
• The bride should cover her head with a scarf or veil, preferably a short one, so that she does not accidentally get dirty with a candle.
• Shoes should be simple and without high heels. But this is a plus, since you will have to spend at least an hour practically motionless on your feet.

What to take with you?

To carry out the sacrament, you need to buy several things that are better to immediately add to your wedding shopping list:

1. Wedding rings (wedding rings will do).
2. Large candles.
3. White towel or towel.
4. Four white handkerchiefs (to hold crowns and candles).
5. Icons of the Savior and the Mother of God (if your parents have them, then you can take them, then they will also be a symbol of parental blessing).

Also, the newlyweds and all guests must wear crosses.

What needs to be done before the ceremony?

According to the rules of preparation, before the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds must take communion and confess. And also one of the main rituals of preparation for the upcoming sacrament is the fasting, which lasts until communion and, consequently, the wedding itself, since communion together with confession is carried out either the day before or in the morning of the day.

Retreat means abstinence, fasting and attending all services for at least one week, as well as conducting home prayers as directed by the prayer book.

Wedding of newlyweds in Orthodoxy: how is the sacrament performed?

It is worth finding out how the wedding procedure works before it begins. This way you will know what to prepare for and what to do during the sacrament. The ceremony itself consists of two stages: the betrothal and the wedding itself.

Engagement

To get engaged, the spouses stand facing the altar: the groom on the right, the bride on the left. The guests sit behind them. The priest gives lighted candles into the hands of the young people, blessing them beforehand. They cross themselves with these candles. It is believed that if they do not go out during the entire ceremony, then the young people will have a happy and long life.

The priest then says prayers and betroths the couple with blessed rings. By the way, they need to be brought to the church in advance for lighting.

After exchanging rings, the couple must go to the middle of the hall and, standing in front of the lectern on a towel, confirm that they are getting married of their own free will.

The wedding itself begins with the prayers of the priest, after which he places crowns on the heads of the bride and groom (they are later held by witnesses). Then the priest reads the prayers again and, after the Lord’s Prayer, gives the newlyweds a glass of wine to drink. Everyone should take three sips.

This is followed by a procession around the lectern, in front of which the priest joins the hands of the newlyweds, thereby marking the beginning of their journey together. Then the clergyman takes off the crowns and allows the bride and groom to kiss the icons of the Savior and the Virgin Mary, as well as the cross, in turn. After this, he gives the icons to the young people and says parting words. According to tradition, icons and a towel are kept in the family for life.

This is such a complex, but very significant and symbolic wedding ceremony. The Svadbaholik.ru portal hopes that it has helped you find out how to get married in a church. And may your sacrament pass without any difficulties and be remembered as one of the happiest events in life.

See praise... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M.: Russian Dictionaries, 1999. wedding, marriage, praise; wedding ceremony, crowning, crowning, wedding, sacrament of marriage, marriage, divine service, requirement... Synonym dictionary

The Christian rite of placing a crown (crown) on the heads of believers when they enter into a church marriage, as well as during the coronation of monarchs (crowning)... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

WEDDING, to crown, see crown. Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary. IN AND. Dahl. 1863 1866 … Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

WEDDING, see Marriage sacrament... Modern encyclopedia

WEDDING, weddings, Wed. 1. Rite of enthronement (historical). Royal weddings. 2. Rite, church wedding ceremony (church). Ushakov's explanatory dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

WEDDING, I, Wed. 1. see marry, xia. 2. Church wedding ceremony. Invite to. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

Wedding- (English wedding) in Russia, a form of marriage obligatory for persons of the Christian faith. In the Russian state of the 15th-17th centuries. V. was carried out by a local priest after presenting him with a “crown of memory” permission to marry, given ... ... Encyclopedia of Law

Wedding- WEDDING, see Marriage sacrament. ... Illustrated Encyclopedic Dictionary

Wedding- a divine service during which the Sacrament of Marriage is performed: a Christian marriage is blessed and sanctified. The wedding is performed by a priest (very rarely a bishop), and it is customary for the priest to be from the white (non-monastic) clergy... Orthodoxy. Dictionary-reference book

I; Wed to Get married (1 2 digits). ◁ Wedding, aya, oe (2 digits). V. rite. In that dress. In the second candles. * * * wedding 1) the Christian rite of placing a crown (crown) on the heads of those entering into a church marriage. 2) Solemn, of a sacred nature... ... encyclopedic Dictionary

Books

• , . The book was published in memory of the coronation of the Emperor Alexandra III and his wife Maria Fedorovna. The description of this event is preceded by a historical sketch of the wedding of the Tsar Russian sovereigns, which...
• The crowning of Russian sovereigns, starting from Tsar Mikhail Feodorovich to Emperor Alexander III,. The book was published in memory of the coronation of Emperor Alexander III and his wife Maria Feodorovna. The description of this event is preceded by a historical sketch of the crowning of the Russian sovereigns, which...

Among the sacraments of the Orthodox Church, the wedding ceremony occupies a special place. When united in marriage, a man and a woman make an oath of fidelity to each other in Christ. At this moment, God binds the young family together as a single whole, blesses them for a common path, the birth and upbringing of children according to the laws of Orthodoxy.

- an important and responsible step for Orthodox believers. You cannot go through the sacrament simply for the sake of fashion or colorful memories of a spectacular ceremony. The ceremony is carried out for churchgoers, that is, people baptized according to the rules of Orthodoxy, who understand the importance of creating a family in Christ.

At the sacred level, husband and wife become one. Father reads, calls on God, asks him for mercy for the newly created family to become part of Him.

In Orthodoxy there is a concept: family - Small Church. The husband, the head of the family, is a prototype of the priest, of Christ himself. The wife is the Church, betrothed to the Savior.

Why is it necessary for a family: the opinion of the church

The church contrasts marriage according to the Orthodox tradition with the unspiritual life of a consumer society. Family in the life of a believer is a stronghold that grants:

• mutual support in everyday difficulties;
• joint spiritual development;
• nurturing each other;
• the joy of mutual love blessed by God.

A married spouse is a companion for life. The spiritual strength received in the family is then transferred by a person to social and government activities.

Scripture Meaning

For a happy family life, carnal mutual love for each other is not enough. A special connection between husband and wife, the union of two souls appears after the wedding ceremony:

• the couple receives the spiritual protection of the church, the family union becomes a part of it;
• the Orthodox family is a special hierarchy of the Little Church, where the wife submits to her husband, and the husband to God;
• during the ceremony, the Holy Trinity is called upon to help the young couple, and they ask her for a blessing for the new Orthodox marriage;
• children born in a married marriage receive a special blessing at birth;
• It is believed that if a married couple lives in compliance with Christian laws, God himself takes her in his arms and carefully carries her through her entire life.

Just as in the Big Church they pray to God, so in the Small Church, which the married family becomes, the word of God must constantly sound. True Christian values ​​in the family are obedience, meekness, patience with each other, and humility.

The power of the Lord’s grace is so great that, having received His blessing during the wedding ceremony, the couple then often devotes their aspirations to the Christian life with great zeal, even if previously the young people rarely visited the temple. This is the leadership of Jesus Christ, who became the master of the Orthodox home.

Important! One of the main vows of a married couple is the oath of fidelity to each other for the rest of their lives.

What does it give and mean for spouses?

Orthodox Christians should know that it is the wedding that seals the union of a man and a woman before God. The church does not conduct the ceremony if the couple has not legally registered the relationship. But official registration alone is not enough for a union to be considered legalized by the church: an unmarried couple appears before God as strangers to each other.


The wedding gives a special blessing from heaven to the couple:

• to live according to the commandments of Jesus Christ;
• for a prosperous family life in spiritual unity;
• for the birth of children.

There are often cases when people realize the importance of cementing a union with the church and come, in order not just to observe a beautiful tradition, but to comprehend the deep sacred meaning rite.

Spiritual preparation

Before performing the ritual, young people must undergo special training:

• fast;
• attend confession;
• take communion;
• read prayers, turning to God with a request to grant a vision of your sins, forgive them, teach them how to atone;
• You must definitely forgive all your enemies, ill-wishers, and pray for them with Christian humility;
• pray for all people who have been voluntarily or unwittingly offended in life, ask God for forgiveness and the opportunity to atone.

Before the wedding, if possible, it is recommended to pay off all debts and make donations to charitable causes.

Wedding is a church Sacrament; young people should try to approach it with a clear conscience and a calm heart.

What should a couple know?

1. Additionally, you need to know some of the subtleties of the wedding ceremony and preparation for it: Before the wedding itself, a young couple should fast for at least three days (more is possible).
2. These days you need not only to limit yourself in food, but also to devote more time to prayer. You should also completely abstain from flat pleasures;
3. The groom is allowed to attend the wedding in a regular classic suit, but there are much more requirements for the bride’s dress. It should be modest; exposing the back, neckline, or shoulders is not allowed. Modern wedding fashion offers dresses in a variety of colors, but the wedding dress should be modest, preferably in shades of white; By Orthodox tradition

the bride does not wear a veil or one that covers her face. This symbolizes her openness to God and her future husband.

The wedding day must be previously agreed upon with the priest. There are a number of restrictions for carrying out the ceremony. For example, they do not get married on days of fasting, on many church holidays - Christmas, Easter, Epiphany, Ascension. There are and especially

lucky days

A wedding is called a church marriage, in which the newlyweds testify their love before God. About what a wedding gives to a family and what its meaning is in the video:

Conclusion

If young people love each other and consider themselves Orthodox Christians, a wedding is necessary. A marriage sealed by the church receives a special blessing, the protection of God. He gives strength for a righteous family life according to the laws of Orthodoxy. A wedding becomes not just a beautiful tradition, but a way for a young couple to reach a new level of relationship with God.

The modern generally accepted rite of marriage, or more correctly, the rite of church blessing of marriage, developed in the 16th-17th centuries. Until this time, you can find different options. But the basis remains unchanged to this day. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the history of the sacrament of marriage and a brief background diagram: what parts does this rite consist of and what do they mean.

History of the wedding sacrament

As we know from the Bible, and specifically from the books of the Old Testament, marriage appeared in paradise before the fall of the first people - Adam and Eve. And the Lord himself created marriage. As for the description of the marriage ceremony, in Old Testament it cannot be found, but from some indirect quotes we can conclude that historically it consisted of two actions separated by time: betrothal (engagement) and, in fact, the wedding. This scheme was universal for both the Jews and the entire Greco-Roman world, and then, along with the spread of Christianity throughout the world, it came to other countries, including Rus'.

In the New Testament we also will not find a clear description of the rite of marriage. Nevertheless, it is known that the first Christians already had such a concept as “church marriage.” At the end of the 1st - beginning of the 2nd century, Ignatius the God-Bearer wrote in his Epistle to Polycarp that “Those who marry and are given in marriage must enter into a union with the consent of the bishop, so that the marriage will be O Lord, and not out of lust. Let everything be for the glory of God".

At the same time, a man and a woman who once accepted the Sacrament of Baptism and became members of the Christian community, and then entered into a church marriage, at the same time had to legalize their union before secular law. Christian apologetic literature, for example, the Epistle to Diognetus (about 200 after Christ), says that Christians “marry like everyone else.” The Epistle of Athenagoras (about 180 after the birth of Christ) states that “each of us has a wife, whom he married according to the laws established by us, for the purpose of procreation.”

The rite of Christian marriage began to take shape closer to the 4th century. For example, a tradition arose of inviting a bishop or priest to a wedding feast. The priest read a special prayer at a home holiday, thereby sanctifying the marriage of the newlyweds. The separation of family celebrations and church Sacraments occurred later. Special prayers for this Sacrament and rites appeared (a sequential, detailed presentation of any divine service).

Wedding ceremony

Betrothal (engagement)

Betrothal is an independent rite. It can be separated in time from the wedding. In practice, already in the 15th century it was usually performed together with the wedding. According to tradition, the betrothal takes place not in the temple itself, but in the vestibule - as a sign that the bride and groom have not yet become united in marriage.

The order of rites is as follows:

The priest carries the Holy Cross and the Gospel from the altar.

Then he blesses (baptizes) the bride and groom light the wedding candles, gives them into their hands, takes the censer and burns the censer.– Candles symbolize spiritual triumph, Divine grace that will abide in marriage, and the love that the hearts of the spouses will (should) burn towards each other. Cross-shaped incense means the invisible, mysterious presence of the grace of the Holy Spirit, who performs the holy Sacraments of the Church.

The priest loudly proclaims: “Blessed is our God...”– Every sacred ceremony begins with praise to God.

Peace Litany (a series of petitions (requests) to God)- the same as at any other worship service.

Betrothal prayers- the basis of the rite of betrothal, known since the end of the 8th century. In the first prayer (“Eternal God, who has gathered together in unity...”, the betrothal of Rebekah to Isaac is remembered and a blessing is asked for the betrothed. In the second (“Lord our God, from the tongue of the Lord we betrothed the Church to the pure virgin...”) a blessing is asked for the betrothal, peace and unanimity in life. future spouses.

Engagement – The priest puts the rings on the newlyweds and then switches their places. This happens three times. Historically, the husband was entitled to silver (early manuscripts usually speak of iron), and the wife – gold: a woman’s ring should cost more. There is no symbolism here, it just used to be a custom to give the bride or her family a marriage gift. If the gift was accepted, it was considered a guarantee of a future wedding.

Today, the exchange of rings has a symbolic meaning: it is a sign of an inextricable, eternal union between spouses. Before the betrothal, the rings are placed in the altar on the right side of the holy throne, as if in front of the face of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. The rings are changed three times in honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity, which accomplishes and approves everything (sometimes the priest himself changes the rings).

Closing Prayer- “Lord our God, who came to the youth of the Patriarch Abraham in the midst, sending his master Isaac’s wife to despise him...” It asks for God's blessing on the betrothed couple.

A special litany (a series of petitions to God)- the same as at any worship service.

There is an assumption that in Byzantium church betrothal could be a sufficient form of marriage: in the manuscripts there are indications that after the betrothal the spouses could begin family life. In the manuscripts after the ceremony of betrothal there are the following words: “If they want (at the same time) to get married,” that is, “if they want (at the same time) to get married...”. And then comes the wedding.

Wedding

has the following order:

Read Psalm No. 127(“Blessed are all who fear the Lord”) - a kind of reminder to those getting married about what true happiness lies in. It contains these words:

“Blessed are you, and good will come to you. Your wife is like a fruitful vine in the countries of your home. Your sons are like new olive trees around your table.” That is, the wife will give birth to many children who, like olive trees, will grow and prosper.

The priest, together with the bride and groom, move from the vestibule to the temple and stand on a towel (a piece of fabric like a towel) in the center of the temple - The wedding takes place in the middle of the temple, because the husband and wife become one.

The priest pronounces a word of instruction to the wedding couple

Next he asks the bride and groom about their desire to get married- found only in the missals of Russian publications (and those dependent on them). Metropolitan Peter (Mogila) borrowed them from Western practice in the 17th century, since then they have become part of the ritual. There are no such questions in the Greek missals; sometimes something similar to them is found.

The priest proclaims: “Blessed is the Kingdom.”

The priest says three prayers for those getting married and places crowns on their heads.(if the crowns do not fit in size, witnesses should hold them on the heads of the newlyweds) - The crowns on the heads of the newlyweds are a symbol of royal crowns (in the newly created family, the young will be like kings and founders of the clan) and at the same time martyrdom (the feat of a Christian marriage is compared to martyrdom).

Having placed crowns on the heads of those getting married, the priest turns to God with the words: “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.”

Prokeimenon (verse sung before reading Holy Scripture), Apostle, Gospel– Traditionally, the passage is read Eph 5.20-33 (about marriage as a visible image of the union of Christ and the Church and about the mutual responsibilities of spouses) and John 2.1-11 (about marriage in Cana of Galilee).

A short, intense litany

Prayer about the newlyweds- one of the oldest in the rite of wedding.

Litany of Petition

Singing the Lord's Prayer in chorus.– The appearance of this prayer in the wedding rite is due to the fact that previously, during the wedding, the newlyweds received the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Sometimes other elements of the full liturgy were added, for example, the litany of thanksgiving after Communion. Today this - like Communion - is not included in the wedding rite.

The priest blesses a common cup of wine and gives it to the bride and groom in turn to drink from it– In ancient times, there was a special ritual and blessings of the first cup at the wedding feast. In memory of this, the bride and groom partook of a common cup of wine at the beginning of the wedding feast. The ritual became part of the wedding rite around the 8th century. Today there is a widespread belief that the common cup replaced the Communion of the Holy Mysteries. This is not true. Greek manuscripts indicate both cups - the Eucharistic and the common.

Today the connection between the common cup and the wedding feast has been lost. The cup symbolizes an indication of the unity of the spouses in everything. The spouses partake from the cup three times, in turn (in modern practice, the rest of the wine is usually drunk by the bride, although Greek manuscripts note that this should be done by the groom. One of the 15th century manuscripts describes the obscure custom of pouring the rest of the wine on the heads of the newlyweds).

Next, the priest joins the hands of the newlyweds and circles them three times around the lectern - a church table-stand on which the Cross and the Gospels lie. The choir sings holiday chants - troparia.

– Troparia (“Isaiah rejoice...” and “Holy Martyrs...”) appear in manuscripts from the 15th century. Initially they were sung during the procession of the newlyweds to their chambers. Over time, the solemn procession to the house of the newlyweds (replaced by a procession around the lectern in the temple.